I just got off a conversation with two close friends—both entrepreneurs, both carrying immense responsibilities at work and at home.
We landed on a powerful distinction: the difference between being needy and having needs.
As leaders, as providers, many of us grew up believing that showing neediness is weakness. I know I was taught that my needs were a burden to the other people around me, especially my anxiety-ridden mom. Over time, I didn’t just suppress my neediness—I buried my needs. And those unmet needs? They always managed to come out later. As rage, frustration, avoidance, or worse.
One friend shared how he’s going through a tough time. What he needs is simple: appreciation, reassurance, acknowledgment. But he’s afraid to ask—afraid it’ll make him look weak or needy.
We each had a form of that need for appreciation, for a pat on the back, for the reassurance that even if things look tough right now, they are going to be ok.
It felt amazing to say that to each other, and to have that appreciation reflected back to us. Because each of us could appreciate what the other was going through.
What Have You Been Hiding?
It made me ask myself—and now I ask you:
- As a leader, what needs are you not even aware of?
- How does that show up in your leadership?
- What could you uncover if you allowed yourself to need?
- What would it unlock, in your and your team, if you gave yourself permission to ask for help?
Expressing needs isn’t weakness. It’s a form of courageous leadership that invites connection, clarity, and authenticity.
Your vulnerability is a magnet that gives permission for others to express their needs, their fears.
And it creates a powerful bond that enhances both loyalty and performance. Even if, at first, the person you are vulnerable with is not part of your team.
What Can You Admit?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What does this bring up in you?
What are you afraid to admit, to yourself and your team?
How do you navigate this line between vulnerability and strength?
#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Vulnerability #ExecutiveCoaching #Authenticity