We have a Turkish exchange student with us right now, and he’s a huge US movie buff.
To my surprise, he hadn’t seen any of the original Star Wars movies. One of my favorite hero’s journeys.
Of course we started with the original (now known as Episode 4). In rewatching it, one thing struck me.
When Obi Wan first asked Luke to join the rebellion, Luke instinctively said no.
The reasons that his uncle was keeping him from leaving to join the Imperial Academy (his responsibility to the farm, to one more harvest, etc.) become the very same reasons he says no to joining the rebellion.
He only leaves when his aunt and uncle are killed by the Empire and he literally has nothing left.
The greatest Jedi started out scared and small.
You, too?
I Had to Lose Everything, Too
I first wanted to leave my job and become a coach in 2011.
I felt called. But I didn’t answer the call until 2016.
Even then, I didn’t answer it voluntarily. I was laid off in 2016. My role was eliminated. I finally pursued coaching when it became clear that getting another job wasn’t going to happen.
Only at that point was I willing to fully commit. But what a journey since then.
This is my tenth full year coaching. I work with founders striving for purpose (and nine figures). I work with the identity crisis that comes after the exit. I coach one-on-one, I host retreats, I speak, I host a podcast.
None of this would have happened without that layoff in 2016.
Looking back it all fits. It feels like the universe has always wanted this, and more, for me.
And it still feels like I’m just getting started.
What about you?
What’s Your Hero’s Journey?
You might be a founder who sees the possibility of something more but has nothing left to give.
You might be a burned-out executive wondering why all the rules you followed never made you happy.
Your current life isn’t working. Your current identity isn’t working. The current version of your company isn’t working.
Another possibility shows up. Bigger. More meaningful. More aligned.
But you hesitate. It’s scary. It’s risky. You don’t know if it’s going to work, or how it’s going to work.
Will you slay the dragon? There’s only one way to find out.
Answer the Call
I recently talked to a leader who had just given a speech to his entire organization about the hero’s journey. He excitedly told me how well it had gone.
But he himself wasn’t taking the risks he was asking his people to take. His goals were ho hum, even as it was clear his people wanted more.
Was he willing to make a flowery speech? Yes.
But he was afraid to take the organization to the next level because he was afraid to take himself to the next level. He had no idea how to.
No one does.
It’s one thing to give a pep talk. It’s another entirely to step into the unknown.
Face The Trials
We love to watch others’ hero’s journey because it can give us the thrill without the risk.
Whether that’s Star Wars, Harry Potter, the Matrix or the Super Bowl.
These stories inspire us, but they cannot change us.
The actual journey? Facing your demons? Terrifying. But also necessary. At least if you don’t want to regret your decades-long slow decline into impotence and irrelevance.
You think you know what the learning will be. You think you can know in advance. But the only thing you can do is to put yourself in the arena, and embrace the learning that comes.
Those struggles will forge you into the person you are meant to become.
Your old identity will likely be burned away in the process. Because the very things that brought you to this point are keeping you from getting to the next one.
Who’s Your Villain?
Every hero needs a villain.
Who (or what) is your Darth Vader? Your Voldemort?
It might be a person. It might be a competitor. It might be a system.
You might have what Simon Sinek calls a Just Cause. A grand quest, a metaphorical castle guarded by dragons.
But it might also be an aspect of you.
For most people, the hero’s journey isn’t about defeating an outer villain.
It’s about overcoming an inner obstacle—the voice that has long kept us safe and small.
The voice telling you stories that for thousands of years kept your ancestors from dying but are now keeping you from living.
Listen to what that voice is telling you. Are you ready to stop believing it?
Two Demons, One Result
Everyone’s voice shows up differently, but it’s always recognizable.
Flavor One—Planning versus Haste
“I’m not ready. It would be foolish to rush this. I need more expertise. I need to check with one more person.”
Do you really need more time? Will more information actually help you? Or are you just scared? Take one small action. #PickNow. If you feel relief, or just the tiniest thrill, you’ll know you’re on the right path. The path of action over analysis.
Flavor Two—Gratitude versus Greed
“Things are really good right now. It would be greedy to want more. I have such a good life. Why would I risk it unless I knew this would work out?”
Yes, until your dull routine leaves you bored out of your mind and depressed. Yes, until, decades later, you regret all the things you never tried.
Most people have one or both of these voices in them.
Not only can you defeat them, you can liberate yourself and others in the process.
Return Changed
The new version of you doesn’t happen instantaneously. But it will never happen before you start.
The commitment can be instantaneous. But the journey, one action after another, can take years.
People think that you can change by yourself. But you can only be willing to BE changed. The circumstances you put yourself in and the people you surround yourself with matter.
Make sure the people you spend the most time with are challenging you, not holding you back. Make your move toward difficult things, not away from them.
Your willingness to go on the journey means everything to how you return.
Beyond Resolutions
New Year’s Resolutions last at most about two weeks. Why? Because they start with behavior rather than identity. Adding one more thing to an identity that is already stretched to the seams.
Want to be fit? Start with the identity of a fit person. What would a fit person do today? The fit body must follow. Every day you will get closer.
Decide to work out every morning when you love to sleep in?
You’ve probably already failed.
The Journey Never Ends
You will never get “there,” to some ideal identity in a future that doesn’t exist.
Because you’re always here and, in each moment there is something you can do better. The trick is accepting that. Embracing that without turning it into beating yourself up.
Continuing to get better is what we all strive for. But that never meant we were bad.
Shunryo Suzuki, the author of Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, might have said it best when he was addressing a group of his students.
“You are perfect as you are. And you could use a little improvement.”
That’s the paradox of the human journey.
Enjoy it.