I work with leaders and teams who are often trying to take on big change. And I notice a theme, no matter what type of change people are trying to take on.

Maybe I’m helping a leadership team get more aligned.

Maybe I’m helping a sales team close more deals.

Maybe I’m helping the CEO create a more inclusive and innovative culture.

The theme is this—things can look solid that are really just made of thought.

Corporate life is hard. Some of us develop habits to protect ourselves, to try to keep ourselves safe. Some of us are focused more on advancement, or winning.

We use these habits so often that we think they are real and solid. So real and solid that we are afraid not to do them.

I was working with an organization a few weeks ago where the former CEO is still involved in the company. He coaches several on the executive team. He maintains relationships with several external partners. He has maintained a “kiss the ring” culture even after supposedly retiring.

It is limiting the organization. And it is all made up. He has been able to convince those around him that he continues to have more power than ever. More power, in fact, than he ever really had. Because you can’t really have that kind of power without someone else consenting to it.

And if the new CEO and the board told him to get out, he would have to get out. A new thought. One with some fear, certainly, but one that would bring immediate change.

All change requires is new thinking. All new thinking requires is seeing that our old thinking isn’t real or solid. It constantly changes. Corporate cultures emerge through the habitual thinking of those in authority, fueled by the self-preservation instinct of those reporting to them. When the leaders change their thinking (or more commonly, when the leaders change), the thinking of the organization will follow.

All a sales team needs to change its effectiveness is for one person to see that listening is more effective than telling.

All a leadership team needs to change is to see that every person’s view of the world is equally valid, and that I can learn more from the others than I can teach them.

Curiosity, borne of seeing that my world, and yours, are never solid and never true.

When a team sees this, they can make any change necessary.

What will your team see today?

I deal with a lot of leaders who have imposter syndrome. I certainly have it at times. The sense that I’m not qualified, that I’m going to be found out.

The sense that, despite my 30 years of experience, I’m a fraud.

When I talk to people about this, it seems like for most, imposter syndrome is most acute when we get asked a question about ourselves. When we get put on the spot somehow.

Our minds go blank! Our moment to shine, and we have nothing to say! We panic! What now?

I used to be convinced that this was evidence of social anxiety, or some other deep psychological flaw. That I could overcome it with an elevator pitch, with 30 seconds that I could trot out anytime, that would show how powerful my work was.

“I help leaders be more impactful by finding and coming from their innate sense of ease.”

Or something like that. (Actually, I just came up with that, and I kinda like it. But as you will see, that just proves my point.)

What I have found instead is that clearing of the mind is a sign that our psychological system is working perfectly.

When my mind is clear, it is perfectly prepared to listen. It is perfectly open to new thought. It is perfectly ready to say what will be most impactful for my audience in that moment.

Experiment with this. Try it for yourself.

Notice when your mind goes blank.

See if you can wait a few seconds (without panic).

See what pops into your head. Sometimes it will be a question to clarify.

At some point you will know what to say. Say it. Notice the impact.

See if it is way better than any elevator pitch you could have memorized.

After you do this a few times, you will look forward to your mind clearing. Your mind will tend to clear more often. You will have access to more fresh, new thinking than ever before.

You might just find that your imposter syndrome has gone away, too. And you might be amazed by how often you know exactly the right thing to say.

Because we aren’t our history. We’re our innate ability to respond to our present and create our future.

Everyone has this. We are made of it.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

The weekend can be a time of reflection. Of getting away.  Sometimes, my best insights come on the weekend.

I’ve been reflecting on a question I have all my clients ask themselves.

“What do I want?”

I ask it knowing that it might be the hardest question there is to answer.

But I’m coming to understand that it is hard because it tends to lead us astray. It points away from where we actually should be looking. It points us toward our experience, and away from the source of our experience.

It does this in at least three ways, with three different words.

“What.” Our first impulse here is often to think of things, but when we go deeper, we often find that what we really want is feelings.

Peace. Equanimity. Purpose. Alignment. Connection. Joy.

Yet we tend to answer with things like, “A promotion. A business. A car. A house. A partner.” The things that we hope will generate those feelings, even as we realize they don’t. As we look more closely at this, we realize we are the source of those feelings. We really don’t have to “get” anything to have joy, for example.

“I.” What do “I” want? Who is the “I” in that statement? The “I” that I habitually think of myself as? The stories that I have made up about that person, that identity? The characteristics and qualities that I describe myself as having? That “I” might look solid, but when I look, I’m not very solid, and neither are you. I seem to change from day to day, even from moment to moment. I can be nice, a jerk, hardworking, lazy, kind, and selfish. If there is a solid “I,” it seems to be whatever is looking through this body’s eyes. Not my thoughts, but wherever my thoughts come from. It is formless, mysterious, silent, yet everything in my world emerges from it.

“Want.” Again, does this bigger I want things or feelings? What is this want? This desire? Is it just for stuff? Or even feelings? Is it what I want, or what I think I should want? What I think others expect me to provide for them? The thing that I, the bigger I, most seem to want is to create. I even seem to create “want!” There is great joy in the act of creation. In fact I seem to get more from the creating than from what I have created. And yet, it seems like the creating is happening all the time, whether I want to or not. I seem to be this process of constant creation.

“What do I want?”

The you who is wanting is also creating everything else in your world. It can create anything, including the idea that there is something outside of you, something to want, that if you get it, will somehow complete you.

This you is the creator of your life. You think you are in the world, but, as a matter of biology, of neuroscience, the world (or at least your world) is in you.

Sit with this. Take a walk this weekend. See what arises for you. See what comes from the silence.

It might not be huge. It might just be a hint.

But a door is opening. Will you walk through?

I was on a podcast yesterday and the topic of goals came up.

I’ve been thinking about goals a lot. Because they are so central to the way many of us think about the corporate world, and so antithetical to the way I typically work with people.

To me, if you’re really on the right track, goals are unnecessary. You will do whatever it is you need to, simply because you love it and are determined to succeed.

And if you aren’t meeting your goals, it might be a sign you’re not on the right track. That you are focusing on things that you think you should do, that you think you have to do, rather than focusing on what will actually work for you.

Most people use goals to try to make themselves do things they really don’t want to.

Think about that for a second.

If you don’t want to do something, why are you doing it?

What is on that list of “have to’s” for you?

Reaching out to potential customers? Creating a business plan? Determining the direction of the company? Writing a budget?

If you really don’t want to do it, how good a job do you think you will do?

My coaching business took off as soon as I saw that I could really help people. Once I got the impact I was having, I enjoyed reaching out to people. I was excited to talk about them, to explore the transformation that we could create together.

Do you ever talk to people trying to sell you something, but you can tell they really don’t want to be there? How did that go? How did that feel?

If you don’t enjoy a task, it might be a sign that you don’t really need to do it, or that someone else on your team should be doing it instead.

If you’re not meeting your goals, in other words, you might have the wrong goals. You might be focused on things you think you should want, rather than what you actually want.

Spend as much time as you can doing the things you love to do, that only you can do. The things that are part of your superpowers. Delegate, or maybe even ignore, the rest.

So all that said, when are goals helpful?

When you do have a path, when you know what you specifically need to do, when you know the tangible steps that must be taken, goals are a great way to track progress.

If you are working on a project with a specific deliverable and due date, goals and milestones are perfectly appropriate.

But most of the rest of the time, my experience is that goals can actually do more harm than good.

What’s your experience?