I used to think that I had two competing interests. To fit in, or to stand out.
And while I had the urge to create, to write, to perform, to lead, I had another, often stronger voice in me saying, “Stay small, stay quiet, stay normal, stay safe.”
It was my mother’s voice. And while she loved me and wanted the best for me, she also kept me from being me.
Because calling attention to yourself was not done. It was not safe.
I quickly came to realize that I was not “normal.” Whatever that happened to mean, it was not me. I don’t know many people who wanted to major in history and math and psychology. But I liked it all.
I talked with a client the other day who had been through something similar. And he had an insight that helped me, too.
What if it’s not about standing out, but simply about being yourself?
If you are small and quiet and “normal,” there’s nothing wrong with that. And no reason to pretend otherwise.
But if you aren’t, don’t pretend to be. You were made that way for a reason. Don’t stand out. Be yourself, in all your glory.
We need the real you, not the one you think is safe to show us. If you don’t feel safe to show it, you may be working with the wrong people.
Someone one needs you exactly as you are.
Find them.