You always look like you’ve got it together.
You’ve been successful at everything you’ve tried.
You’ve got all the stuff. But you’re not happy.
I know because I was there.
I was you.
On many days, I’m still you. Pretending to keep it together, thinking that if we can make the outside look good the inside will somehow follow.
And the mistake you made was the same one I made. (I still make it, but I do make it less.)
You assumed that there was something outside of you that could fix what’s inside of you.
What’s inside? The gnawing feeling that it will never be enough. That you will never be enough.
It can look like outer success will make you feel better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
Has it ever? For more than a few minutes, or a few days?
If VP didn’t do it, if EVP didn’t do it, if COO didn’t do it, CEO won’t either.
If $5 million didn’t do it, $50 million or $500 million or $5 billion won’t either.
Maslow had it right. Once your outer needs are taken care of, the work is inner work.
Of course he never really said what he meant by “self-actualization.” I’m not sure he even knew.
But it seems a major part of it is to see that you are enough and always have been. That you can be both totally fine with yourself, and still strive to improve.
Not to cover something up or make yourself whole. But for the sheer joy in doing so.
Seeing that changes everything. And it can happen in a moment of insight. Or a series of glimpses that take years.
Not everyone can see it, at least not right away. But when they are willing to start looking, and to stay in the conversation, it changes everything.
Looking in that direction has changed everything for me. And it will for you, too.
When we can create from joy, rather than lack, life is suddenly worth living again. Instead of just being one crisis after another.
Are you curious enough to look for what has always been there?
Are you willing to take that leap of faith?