I was working with a founder who has having a problem with the CFO he had just hired. And he noticed that he had certain expectations of her, based on how he was creating her moment to moment.
He was expecting her to be difficult. And therefore, everything she did came through the filter of that expectation, and emerged through that filter as difficulty.
I’ve found this to be true universally. Even for my own mother.
We instantly create people a certain way. It’s so fast that we don’t see ourselves doing it.
And then we treat what we have created, the entity living in our heads, as real and solid.
My client creates his CFO as combative and she shows up as combative.
Another client creates his boss as abusive and he shows up as abusive.
I treat my mother as fearful and she shows up as fearful.
We even create ourselves in a particular way, and defend it as if it is solid! As if there was a solid thing called an introvert, or a procrastinator, set in stone!
We say we want things to be different, but then over and over we create them in the same way. The way that keeps us small, the way that keeps us in something that looks like safety but is actually victimhood.
Typically, it’s related to the way we created ourselves in our childhood to keep ourselves safe. It’s innocent, and at the time, it worked amazingly well.
Forty or fifty years later, we are still creating, well beyond its usefulness.
We are creating it all, even our own apparent helplessness!
Your experience of the world is 100 percent internal, 100 percent of time.
And therefore, 100 percent created, consciously or innocently, by you.
When you see that, your world will change.
And it will change as much as you are ready for it to.
When you finally see that it is you creating your life and everyone in it, what will you create?