At least the watered-down version most of us use.
I know several founders who absolutely see themselves as servant leaders.
What I see is different. I see leaders who routinely avoid conflicts, put others’ needs ahead of their own, and give away all their power.
They call themselves servant leaders to avoid looking at the truth.
Servant Leadership was an incredibly powerful idea in its original form. It was about empowerment of others, yes, but more importantly it was NOT about the leader giving up their own power. It was about the leader exercising that power differently.
Here’s what got lost along the way—
Service Turned Into Appeasement
Serving the growth of people turned into keeping people comfortable. Leaders learned to smooth edges, avoid friction, and soften feedback in the name of empathy. But growth requires tension. When leaders eliminate discomfort, they don’t create safety—they create stagnation.
Power Became Morally Suspect
Instead of being stewarded, authority quietly turned into something to apologize for. Leaders hesitated to decide. Consensus replaced ownership. Responsibility dissolved into process. Power doesn’t vanish when leaders refuse to use it—it just moves underground into politics and resentment.
Empathy Replaced Accountability
Listening became an end in itself rather than a prelude to action. Leaders got very good at understanding feelings and very bad at making decisions and setting standards. Empathy without accountability is just avoidance with better language.
Development Got Replaced By Niceness
The original question—are people becoming more capable and autonomous?—was replaced by are people happy and likely to stay? Being liked became the metric. But developing adults requires saying no, setting boundaries, and insisting on responsibility. Niceness is cheap. Development is not. But only development pays off. And most leaders, at least the kind you want to keep—want to develop and grow.
Emotional Labor Replaced Strategy
Many servant leaders became emotional shock absorbers, taking on everyone else’s anxiety. Over time, teams learned to escalate instead of own. Leaders burned out. Organizations infantilized themselves. What looked like care was actually dependency training. And meaningful progress stagnated.
Actual Servant Leadership Builds Clarity and Boundaries
Remember you are a servant to the company, not subservient to its people.
There are employees who want to learn and grow and challenge themselves. There are employees who just want to be told what to do and to do a good job doing it.
This most recent iteration of servant leadership serves neither.
Ask the following questions—
- Is your team clear who is making each decision (and how)? Especially when it’s not you?
- Are your people learning to make more and more significant decisions, and to be held accountable for them?
- How quickly do you share feedback, both positive and negative?
- Do people feel willing to share positivity and negative feedback with each other, without involving you?
- If your best person left, are you confident another employee could step into that role? What about your best five people?
- Are people who do not want to rise in the organization clear on how to do their jobs well?
Mastering true servant leadership creates the very best (and most valuable) kind of company. The kind that grows itself, and its people, without you.
