When is the last time you took two full days for yourself?

No business responsibilities. No family responsibilities.

Nothing to “do.”

What does that bring up in you when I mention it?

A lot of people panic. The thought of being alone with themselves for that long terrifies them.

A lot people immediately dismiss it as a “waste of time,” saying things like, “I’m way too busy for that right now,” or “Maybe in a few months, when things slow down.

Of course things never slow down because it is YOU who are creating the busyness.

But what if you were in the room with other people just like you—business owners who have gotten to a point where they see that their financial success is not only NOT making them happy, but it might actually be getting in the WAY of their happiness.

And if you are quiet for just a minute, you know if you would benefit from this, or at least would benefit from a conversation about this.

Question One

What is it that you want?

Not what do you want others to think about you.

Not what do others expect from you.

Not what do you think you SHOULD want.

What do you ACTUALLY want? (And even more importantly, WHY do you want it? WHAT do you think having it will give you?)

Or put another way—

What do you WANT when you don’t NEED anything?

Question Two

What is it that is calling you?

When you have had a certain amount of financial success you begin to see that it is not a sustainable source of happiness or fulfillment.

Instead, you begin to live on the hedonic treadmill.

Like a drug addict, you need more and more.

But if you are able to step back, to slow down, you begin to see that all along, something bigger has been operating through you.

That it has been quietly calling you.

That the greatest moments of satisfaction and fulfillment have been the ones where you have listened to that still, small voice.

And that enduring satisfaction is not about external pressure but about internal truth.

Two Days in Denver

On October 20-21, a group of founders and business owners will gather in Denver, Colorado to talk about these two questions.

No “corporate” stuff.

No KPIs.

No strategic plans.

The agenda for these two days is YOU.

What you are afraid to face.

What is getting in your way.

What might be calling you if you are only able to hear.

This event is not for the faint of heart.

But on the other side of this is EVERYTHING YOU ACTUALLY WANT.

Interested?

We are starting the application process now.

We have a five minute video where my co-host Greg Hayne and I talk about the event and who it is right for. Drop a comment if you would like a link and I will message it to you.

And if you have a question, drop it in the comments below or reach out directly.

 

(Now you just need to do it.)

It’s February.

Remember that list of things you were going to take on this year? The new hire, the firing of that person who just wasn’t right for where the company is? The new investor, the new board member?

How’s it going?

If you’re like me (and like a lot of my clients), you resist big decisions, thinking you can figure out exactly how they are going to work out before you make them.

I have bad news for you.

There is No Fork in the Road

So many of the founders that I work with create a narrative that looks something like this—

There is a critical decision to make. There is a “right” path and a “wrong” path. If I study the data enough I can figure out which way to do.

I can figure out the result in advance.

There are two problems with this approach—

You will never think you have enough data, and—

More importantly, there is no “right” path. There is no path at all.

If you think you are following a path, chances are you’re not doing anything very original (or “ground-breaking,” another made-up concept). You’re just doing the same thing that someone else did.

The only path is to try things, see how they work, and adjust. Over and over again.

This is the “path,” and it is deceptively easy until you try it. Which is why the willingness to be a founder, to do something “ground-breaking,” is rare in our culture.

For most people, the fear and uncertainly is just too great.

How do you know what to do?

Notice the Quiet Knowing

Ever hear that voice that says “I knew I should have…”?

How would your life be different if you started following it more? Even if it’s unreasonable? Even if it’s a bit uncomfortable?

That knowing, that sense, came uniquely to you. It is your gift, and it will show up for you just a little bit different than anyone else.

I have said “Desire is a gift from God.” Whether or not those words resonate for you, the truth is that you made every major decision with your gut. I have never met a person who picked their spouse based on a spreadsheet.

You won’t make major business decisions that way, either.

Learn by Taking Action—Quickly

You won’t figure out anything without taking action, and the faster you figure this out the better you will do.

In the startup world, people urge you to “fail fast.”

If that feels too rash, take action when you are about 80 percent certain. And then see what happens and figure out what to do next.

The big secret in all of this is that you will make much faster progress failing over and over than you could ever make trying to succeed the first time.

Thoughts on this?

Drop a comment below.

I had my second saxophone performance on Sunday. My last one was in May of 2024 after about 11 months of learning the alto sax.

So much has happened since then. I switched from alto to tenor. I moved from a group that was focused on rock to one focused on jazz (and jazz improv). I have come a LONG ways—better at playing in tune, being able to actually improvise at a rudimentary level, getting comfortable with changing instruments and mouthpieces and reeds.

But my FIRST reaction when I watched my wife’s video from my performance was feeling self-conscious about how awful I sounded.

Seeing Potential Rather Than Accomplishment

In every regard, I am a dramatically better sax player than I was last May. But my focus was on what I was NOT doing well, rather than how I had gotten better. Coach Dan Sullivan calls this perspective “The Gap Versus the Gain.” The idea is that we always evaluate ourselves against our potential rather than seeing how far we’ve come.

It’s a very human thing. It also keeps us mired in dissatisfaction.

Is it helpful? Absolutely. Because there is always more to do, and to be, and let’s face it, dissatisfaction is motivating, if exhausting.

But no matter where you are, you are just getting started AND you have already come so far.

The trick is in being able to hold both. To be grateful AND inspired.

Having Help Along the Way

I have a great teacher who has been with me from the start. He has an academy for kids (six bands of kids performed Sunday after we did, and they were AWESOME). And with me and a few others, he is beginning to teach adults who are new to their instruments.

One of my favorite things about him is that he doesn’t get too worried about how much more I have to learn. (Like I do.)

He only focuses on the next step. And then the next step after that.

Sometimes I get impatient with that. I get frustrated with myself, with him, with the fact that things aren’t going faster. But every time I get ahead of myself I find it only slows me down.

Who in your life reminds you how far you’ve come? Who in your life keeps you focused on the very next step when you could easily get overwhelmed by everything there is to do?

There Are No Shortcuts

The internet is full of overnight successes who have been at it for ten years or more. (I’m in year nine of my coaching business—I know.)

It can look like someone suddenly made it big, but if you look closely, you will find that’s never the case.

I didn’t start playing saxophone at 58 because I thought I would get good fast (though I did HOPE that, I confess). I started for two other reasons—

First, I love jazz (think Miles Davis Kind of Blue era stuff) and had always been fascinated with the idea playing an instrument and being able to improvise on that instrument. I have literally had dreams of playing the sax, and when my son quit in eighth grade I suddenly had both a saxophone and a teacher readily available.

Second, I know my 78-year-old self will appreciate having twenty years of saxophone experience and I really want to give him that gift.

What’s the Gift You Want to Give Your Future Self?

What would your future self most like from you?

What could you do today to start to give that?

What regret will you have if you don’t?

They say that you shouldn’t die with your song still unsung. What does reading that bring up in you?

Drop a comment below with your thoughts.

I reached out to a founder I know a few days ago, just to check in, to see if 2025 was off to a good start. I was doing this with a few people, and just wanted to get a couple emails out there before I went off to do other things.

I wasn’t thinking.

This founder lives in LA. Santa Monica, to be precise.

Close enough, it turns out, to have been evacuated twice because of the fires.

🤦

In my rush to reach out, I was making it about my agenda, about what I wanted.

And while he was gracious about it, I can only imagine how he felt.

Is There an Agenda Behind Your Caring?

I always want to get off to a good start in the New Year. It’s often my busiest time of year. Founders come to be because they went through something that they don’t want to go through again, whether it’s getting stuck, not trusting their people, being exhausted, or all three.

At times I notice an urgency to that. There is some FOMO, that if I don’t capitalize on the first part of the year the rest of the year is doomed to fail.

And that focus on myself, on my agenda, can lead me to do some stupid selfish things, like sending an email to someone in LA with the subject line, “Is your 2025 off to a good start?”

I hope I’m learning from this. Because your agenda can show up in so many ways—

When you are talking with a potential client.

When you are talking with an employee.

When you are talking with a potential investor or board member.

Do you want a relationship, or just transactions?

The Presence of Authentic Relationship

One of the things that I constantly strive to get better at sounds deceptively simple—

To slow down enough to be with the person I am with.

Whether that’s my client or my spouse, can I be there for them, and their agenda?

Can I set aside all the other things that I am thinking about, just for now?

Can I repair when, inevitably, I DON’T do that?

Does This Resonate?

If so, reach out. I would love to hear how this shows up for you.

I’m creating my next Zoom call for founders and would love to hear what is on your mind. What YOU are struggling with and who you’d like to hear from on that topic.

And I’m creating a special two day event in Denver this coming October, on The Art and Science of Next Level Living. A small group of founders looking at big questions—

Is this (a financially successful business or exit) all there is?

Why am I ACTUALLY here?

What’s next for me?

Let me know if you would like to be considered for either or both of these events.