As an executive coach, I’ve had the privilege of working with some incredible leaders who’ve faced challenges that would make most people throw in the towel. One of the most inspiring conversations I’ve had recently was with Jamey Edwards, a seasoned founder who’s building his third company with hard-won wisdom from the prior two.

Jamey’s story isn’t just about business success or failure—it’s about personal transformation. It’s about learning to advocate for yourself, valuing your own contributions as much as others, and having the courage to build differently after tough lessons.

When Trust and Karma Aren’t Enough

Jamey shared with me that he used to believe hard work and treating others well would naturally lead to success and reciprocity. It’s a comforting belief, but as he discovered, the real world doesn’t always operate that way.

“I’d spent years taking care of others, assuming they’d do the same for me when it mattered most,” he told me. “But when the chips were down, I learned the hard way that I wasn’t advocating for myself—and I paid the price.”

The cost wasn’t just financial, though that was significant. Jamey described the emotional weight of feeling let down by people he trusted. He admitted to losing tens of millions in value during a business sale and to grappling with self-doubt as he tried to process what had gone wrong.

Building Differently the Next Time

Jamey is now leading his third venture, and this time, he’s doing it on his own terms. The lessons from his past efforts are guiding him as he builds with intention and integrity.

Here are some of the changes he’s made:

Advocating for Himself

Jamey told me that advocating for himself felt selfish at first. “I grew up thinking that asking for more—whether it was equity, compensation, or recognition—was greedy. But now I see it differently. Advocating for myself is how I ensure I’m in the best position to serve others and lead effectively.”

This shift has led Jamey to negotiate equitable ownership structures and fair compensation for himself upfront, setting the foundation for a healthier partnership, aligned expectations, and more balanced team dynamic.

Learning to Say No

“As a people pleaser and optimist, saying no used to feel like shutting a door,” Jamey said. “Now I see it as a foundation, opening the door to a better conversation.” By setting boundaries and focusing on what matters, he’s avoided costly distractions and stayed true to his vision.

Choosing the Right Partnerships

One of the most moving parts of our conversation was Jamey’s description of his new co-founder. “It’s the first time I’ve worked with someone who looks out for me the way I look out for them,” he said. “We’ve made decisions that cost us individually because it was the right thing for the partnership.”

This trust and mutual respect are the bedrock of their venture, and it’s clear Jamey is prioritizing these qualities in all his business relationships now.

Rebuilding Self-Worth

Jamey admitted that after his second company, he questioned his own abilities. “There was a moment where I thought, maybe I’m not that good at building companies. That was a hard thought to face.”

Through therapy, reflection on his track record of value creation, and surrounding himself with the right people, he’s rebuilt his confidence, step by step.

“I realized that over the last decade or so, I had created over $500 million of equity value, and while it went to others, there was a lot to be proud of there. More importantly, I took a lot of pride in thinking about the millions of people helped by the companies I had the honor of leading.”

Jamey’s also mentoring other founders, helping them avoid the mistakes he made, which he said has been both healing and energizing.

A New Approach to Leadership

Jamey’s story is a reminder that leadership isn’t just about the outcomes—it’s about how you show up for yourself and others. He’s more intentional now, recognizing that advocating for himself doesn’t detract from his ability to serve his team, investors, or customers.

“As founders and leaders, we need to accept that it is ok to take care of ourselves. Advocating for myself is how I make sure I’m in a position to advocate for others,” he told me.

The Big Takeaway

Jamey’s journey speaks to a challenge many leaders face: the fear that standing up for yourself might make you seem self-serving. But as he’s demonstrated, advocating for yourself isn’t just about securing your future; it’s about modeling integrity, setting boundaries, and leading in a way that’s sustainable for the long haul.

If you’re struggling with putting yourself first, take a page from Jamey’s book: Learn to say no, choose your partners wisely, and don’t let fear or guilt keep you from claiming your seat at the table.

What’s one way you can start advocating for yourself today?

Let me know in the comments.

The recent election reminded me of something fundamental about choice—not just in politics, but in life and business. Too often, we feel trapped by limited, binary options, each requiring some level of compromise, neither feeling completely true to who we would like to be. Most of the time, though, we don’t have to accept these compromises. Instead, we can choose to create a path that truly aligns with our values and vision.

Rejecting the Illusion of Binary Choices

For all the talk about forks in the road between a (preordained) good choice and a (preordained) bad one, I have never actually seen one.

Choices often look like clear, binary options: this path or that one, right or wrong, “success” or “failure.” Society often reinforces this either/or thinking, implying that one option is “better” while the other is a loss. But in reality, we aren’t limited to preset paths laid out before us. We all have the power to create options that don’t yet exist, options that fully align with what we want to achieve.

Embrace the Power of Creation Over Compromise

Founders and leaders know that true innovation isn’t about selecting from what’s currently available. It’s about envisioning what could be. For example, when building my business, I don’t restrict myself to current norms or what others suggest. Instead, I envision what feels most authentic and then work to bring that vision to life.

The act of creation allows us to bypass compromise altogether. Rather than choosing between two unsatisfactory paths, we can create a new option that serves us fully, eliminating the need to “make do” with less.

Steps to Start Creating Your Own Path

1. Recognize Limitations in Binary Thinking: When you feel boxed in, pause and question whether there’s another way (and what it might look like).

2. Envision Your Ideal Outcome: Clearly visualize what you want—imagine a path that doesn’t yet exist but could fully support your values and goals.

3. Commit to Creation: Open yourself to the possibility that this new path is achievable. By aligning your actions with your ideal vision, you can bring it into reality.

4. Take Action: Talk about your new reality. See if others are interested. Create with them, one small step at a time.

In any area of life, from business to personal decisions, choosing to create with the new rather than compromise with the old sets a powerful precedent.

More and more you will find yourself creating what is right for you rather than accepting the status quo.

As the year comes to a close, let go of limited options and focus on the new paths you can create. In doing so, you’ll build a business (and a life) that truly reflects who you are and what you’re here to achieve.

At this time of year, many founders and CEOs are understandably swamped. Recently, a founder I reached out to responded with, “I’m crazy busy right now; let’s talk at the beginning of 2025.” This response struck a familiar chord. Many leaders use similar words to describe their current experience, without realizing that the words they use are more than descriptors.

The words you use actually create your reality. When you say, “I’m crazy busy,” you’re not just explaining your situation—you’re creating a world that is crazy busy, and a set of rules that govern that world.

What if there’s another way?

The Overachiever’s Redline: Is This Sustainable?

In the corporate world, and especially with founders and other overachievers, there’s often an unspoken belief that being busy—right up to the edge of burnout—is the hallmark of achievement. One client put it this way: If the redline of your “engine” is 12,000 RPM, you should be pushing 11,999 as often as you can. But what if you’re pushing to do the wrong things? What’s the quality of our decisions when we’re always operating at this extreme? Is it sustainable to push this hard every single day?

For leaders in particular, the productivity mindset is dangerous. Operating at “redline” levels too often can lead to poor decision-making, burnout, and having to do a lot of things over again.

Not very productive.

The Irony of Productivity: How “Crazy Busy” Can Block Success

It may feel like a badge of honor to be as productive as possible, but ironically, this approach can actually repel the very abundance you’re trying to create. When you make yourself “crazy busy,” you’re filling your day with tasks, checking every box, and chasing every lead—yet you may not be focusing on what truly matters (and your people might not be, either). Productivity isn’t about how much you do; it’s about choosing to do the right things.

Instead of filling your day, step back and ask: What’s the one thing I really need to do today? Often, by focusing on the essential, you unlock the potential for greater impact in much less time.

Reimagining Success: Abundance, Ease, and Joy

When I coach leaders, I emphasize creating abundance, ease, and joy—but it’s important to understand the order of these priorities. It’s not about achieving abundance first and then allowing ourselves to experience ease and joy. Instead, it’s about seeing joy as an inherent part of life. As a founder, for example, you created your business as an expression of purpose, meaning, and yes, joy. This joy can bring a sense of ease, which then opens the path to true abundance.

Does this seem too idealistic? It’s not. It’s actually the fast way to any goal. Once you allow yourself to work from a place of joy and ease, you’ll realize that abundance flows naturally from there, and that the important things just come to you rather than being effortful.

Creating Abundance From a New Perspective

If this resonates, fantastic. If it feels like a stretch, let’s talk. My challenge to you is simple: see the joy that already exists in your life and work, see why you started this work in the first place, and let that be your foundation. From there, let ease emerge, and watch how abundance begins to flow in ways that once seemed impossible.

By breaking free from the cycle of “crazy busy,” you’re not just creating more space in your day—you’re creating a life and business where abundance, ease, and joy are the foundations of sustainable success.

Recently, I was talking with a client who was navigating significant changes in his leadership team. Just months after selling the company to a larger firm, he realized that some senior team members no longer aligned with the culture he wanted to create. This realization, however, came with an understandable struggle and hesitation.

I asked him what he knew he needed to do first. The answer was clear, and he took that initial step. Surprisingly, this difficult decision brought a wave of unanticipated relief from his team—they had been wanting him to make this change for some time. His team’s response underscored their own alignment with his vision and reinforced what needed to come next.

Is Struggle Necessary in Leadership?

As leaders, we often convince ourselves that we need to have all the answers before we take action. We assume that if we’re not constantly wrestling with decisions and plans, we’re not working hard enough. This mindset can lead to unnecessary stress, burnout, and even compromised decision-making.

Too often, leaders are addicted to the notion that leadership has to be challenging. We may feel that we need to earn our compensation or equity by making things hard, that ease is somehow antithetical to good leadership.

As my client learned in real time, though, some of the best leadership moves come from letting go of that mindset.

What if Leadership Could Be Simple?

When my client took the initial step he knew he needed to, it became obvious what he needed to do next, and then the next steps revealed themselves in turn. The entire process became less daunting and more natural. In fact, he laughed that it could be so simple.

This experience highlighted a powerful truth: sometimes the clearest path emerges only when we allow leadership to be easy.

What if, instead of planning for every potential outcome, we trusted the process to reveal the next step after we take the first one? Could this shift in mindset make us better leaders?

Releasing the Need for Struggle

This isn’t to say that leadership doesn’t come with challenges; of course, it does. But it’s the addiction to struggle—the belief that things must be hard—that hinders us. The more we allow leadership to be straightforward and approach each decision with clarity, the more effectively we can lead our teams and align with our vision.

Embrace Ease and Let the Results Speak

The question is: Are you willing to challenge your addiction to struggle? Are you open to allowing leadership to be simple and trusting that better outcomes may follow?

Can it really be true that you that less struggle can lead to better results?

Whether you resonate with this or you still struggle to let go of the belief that leadership has to be hard, I encourage you to reach out, comment, or share your thoughts. Let’s start a conversation around the possibility that leadership might just be easier than we think.