I can’t tell you how many times I have said this as a coach.

To the person wanting to take their company a different direction.

To the person hesitating about firing one of their top people.

To the person wanting to go for the promotion.

And also, to the person wanting to turn down a promotion.

So many times, we let fear get in the way of doing what we know we really want. What we know is true in our heart, to our higher self.

Why is this?

Why do we assume that the thoughts we have when we are afraid are the “real” thoughts? And that the other ones are the unrealistic ones?

We all have access to an innate, deeper wisdom. I’m guessing if you examine your best decisions, your most monumental forks in the road, there was a part of you that “just knew,” in a quiet moment, what the right direction was.

Did you listen? Or did you let fear, with its logic and rationalizations, convince you to take the more conventional, “safer” path?

Inaction is not safety. Inaction is just fear showing up as the freeze response.

When you are calm, when you are present, what does your inner wisdom tell you to do?

Do that. And wait for the next step to be revealed.

I’ve come across three kinds of groups over the years. The first two are common. The third is less so, yet often more powerful.

CONTENT-BASED GROUPS

The first kind of group gathers to learn a topic or curriculum. Vistage is a great example of this, as are most classrooms. The purpose is the content itself.

CONNECTION-BASED GROUPS

My experience of YPO falls into this. So does AA, and some networking groups. Getting together with similar people to connect on a human level. For these groups, relationships are the primary purpose.

COMMUNION-BASED GROUPS

Communion is not a word that we tend to use outside of religion or spirituality. But what I’m talking about is a group that points to silence. Space, rather than content, is what’s encouraged. The container and leader allow us to more easily get in touch with our own deeper wisdom. Communion-based groups are rare in business, yet incredibly powerful.

All kinds of groups can be helpful.

But I find many leaders think they need content or connection, when they most need communion.

What kind of group would be most helpful for the challenge you’re currently facing?

And what insight might help you face it differently?

One of the things that I find senior leaders most need, especially in a fast growing company, is space.

We are conditioned to do as much as we can, as long as we can.

That “productivity,” that output, is the key measure of our performance.

That’s true as long as we are sure exactly what we’re doing, and so long as volume (sales volume, for example) is the key metric.

But as some point, as a senior leader, you’re going to find that other things come into play—

What happens when a key performer is also a jerk?

What happens when an original team member is no longer right?

What happens when the market shifts and it’s not clear how to react?

When these things happen, doing more of the same is not only inadvisable, it will often make things worse.

But what to do is unclear.

This is where space is needed. Is essential.

We all have access to a deeper source of wisdom. We all know what to do (or know when we know). But only if we can get quiet enough to hear it.

I help people hear their own inner wisdom. And there is something about setting aside time for that exploration that makes these deeper, more complicated questions easier to answer.

Let me know if you’d like to have that kind of conversation.

Last weekend I went mountain biking in Fruita, Colorado, with a couple good buddies. I’m the oldest and the least experienced, and was a little bit nervous.

There was one part of the ride that was incredibly rocky and narrow. Boulders on either side and a steep drop-off on the left. All downhill.

I got through it.

But on the next little bit, much less steep and away from the drop-off, I suddenly found myself going over my handlebars. I’m still not sure what happened. My face slammed into a big rock. My mouth filled with blood and my tongue instinctively felt around to see if I had all my teeth, if anything had chipped.

I was ok. Spitting up blood, dazed, but ok.

As I pulled my bike off the rocks and sat down to rest, I felt stupid, embarrassed, and self-conscious for slowing up my friends. But they were great.

It really could have happened to any of us, they said, and it really could have been much, much worse.

When we try hard things, sometimes we fall. We learn during those times who is there to help pick us up.

Including ourselves.

And hopefully, we get a little stronger every time.