I was talking to a CEO this morning about his challenges with his COO, with his employees, with his board. He’s been running the firm very successfully for almost ten years, despite having never expected to be in his role. The firm is in a strong market and is poised to grow. And yet he sees that there are times where he has neither the patience nor the empathy to connect with his senior team.

Like many of us, he often comes to a meeting with his mind made up. He listens to rebut, rather than to understand. And he is beginning to see how it is hurting him, and could limit what he wants to build over the next few years.

We talked about that awkward place between where you know you have something you want to change about yourself, and actually being able to change it. And we came up with an experiment.

For one week, he will go into meetings without an opinion. Or at least without stating one.

I assured him that he only needed to leave his opinion by the door, that he could have it back as soon as the meeting ended. But his goal was to truly understand what others are telling him. And to be open to changing his mind if he got new information.

In uncertain times, the leaders with the best information get the best results.

Our people have to feel safe to tell us the truth. And in my experience, nothing feels safer than genuine curiosity.

While he knows this will be a challenge for him, he knows it’s a first step to becoming the inclusive and inspiring leader he wants to be.

To begin the path of change for himself.

And maybe his people, too.

You probably think I’m quoting an ex-president. Especially because a book just came out with the same title.

But I’m quoting me. And you. And every senior executive I’ve ever worked with.

Because at some point, we’ve all said this, or at least thought it.

In a moment of overwhelm, or hubris, or when we don’t trust our team or know what else to do.

Some of us might even have had a reaction just reading the quote. I know I did!

But that’s because I know I have this part of me that thinks this. Pretty regularly in fact. And I hate it.

But I’ve learned this thought can be a gift.

Because it shows me I’m in a bad state. It practically screams at me, “Don’t make any important decisions right now!”

I’ve learned that it’s my sign to talk a break. To take a walk. Even to take a breath or two.

And when I do that, my thinking begins to settle. The world becomes a bit more friendly. And it becomes clear what I need to do next.

Including finding help.

What do you do when you think you have to do it all?

I was talking with a prospective client who just lost his C-suite role. He quickly had opportunities to go back into the same role at a bigger organization.

It would have been easy. But it didn’t feel right.

For the first time, this executive really felt no pressure to work. No pressure to perform, to go back to the grind, to measure his self worth by meeting his organization’s KPI’s. His kids were through college. The house was paid off.

For the first time, he was asking the big question–

What do I want?

What would feel meaningful? What would bring joy to me and others?

If I already have enough, if I already AM enough, then what?

The truth is that many of us already fall into that camp. We just have trouble seeing it sometimes.

But when we see that we are already enough, that we’ve always been enough, that our innate state is peace, is joy, is wholeness, then we can ask ourselves, what can we create just because we want to?

When we do create from that perspective, all the other things, the money we thought we needed, the self worth and meaning that we thought was lacking, show up anyway.

My experience is that the universe has always had bigger ideas for me than I have.

How about you?

…is seeing that the maze is made up.

You have an idea of what success means. And then you judge yourself when you don’t meet this definition.

We feel bad because we didn’t meet the test that we created.

It’s crazy. And yet we all do it. Over and over. It’s human nature. And it’s practically invisible to us.

For every story of, “This is what I need to do, this is what Wall Street requires, this is what we have to do to respond to our competition” there is a story of someone succeeding doing exactly the opposite.

Exactly. The. Opposite.

Don’t believe the story in your head. The story you’ve been taught to believe.

Because the story in your heart is a lot more compelling.

The story of your innate wisdom.

Can you hear it?