The one person you always let down

If you have ever followed Gretchen Rubin, she divides the world into quadrants, based on whether you are able to meet your commitments to other people, and to yourself.

Most high achievers (and many of the people I coach) are what she calls “Obligers.”

These are people who are great at meeting the commitments that they make to others.

And they are horrible at the commitments they make to themselves.

Because of this, they often feel like they have done all the right things but are left empty, exhausted, and even resentful.

Why do I mention this?

Because there is something about finding your #purpose that seems to flip that switch.

When you identify and live from your purpose, suddenly, commitments that used to seem like commitments to yourself are now commitments to others.

Things that used to seem optional are now essential. (And other things seem much less important.)

Suddenly you find yourself getting more done, with more passion, more energy, more fulfillment.

You share your genius. And the world needs all of your genius right now.

I’ve been talking the last several days about how you can use three questions to find your purpose—

What pain have I had that I don’t want others to have?

What do I believe that many others do not?

What have I been preparing for my whole life (maybe without realizing it)?

There’s another ingredient.

When you start to realize why you are here, do you get afraid?

“I’m not sure I can do that.”

“Who am I to bring that into the world?”

Run toward that fear.

I used to have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that would come up whenever I was in a difficult conversation with someone.

I learned that it was my body telling me that there was something I was afraid to say.

And something I needed to say, too.

I learned that when I spoke my truth in those situations, good things happened. It opened up a new avenue for discussion. It deepened relationships.

(And it was great for my coaching business.)

That feeling isn’t fear. It’s excitement. Because you know you are on the verge of something big and true.

What is it that you’re holding back?

If you’re looking for a group that will support you as you bring your purpose into the world, contact me and I will tell you more.

Because the world needs your truth right now.

This one is inspired by Pamela Slim and her book, “Body of Work.”

What have you been preparing for your entire life? (Maybe without realizing it.)

Twenty-five years ago, when I started exploring consciousness, the mind-body connection, and meditation as a way to lessen my anxiety and panic attacks, coaching in business really didn’t exist.

And yet I was drawn to see what the boundaries were of both my own and others’ performance.

Every retreat I did, every book I read, every teacher I worked with for the next 25 years influenced how I began to think about this thing called coaching, and whether I might be good at it.

And the universe cooperated, with a layoff and severance that started me toward my new life.

Today, my life is completely different. I am a mountain biker, a skier, 25 pounds lighter. And I help people see through their self-imposed limitations to identify and live from their purpose as I strive to live from mine.

Twenty-five years of preparation and training. Much of it unconscious.

What have you been preparing for? Is it time to make the leap?

Are you interested in finding a group to explore this with? Contact me and I’ll tell you more.

(Thanks to Simon Sinek for inspiring this one.)

What do you believe that many people don’t?

I believe—

That most people hide.

That most people play it safe.

That most people have trouble declaring what they believe and stand for, especially at work.

That most people are capable of far more than they realize, if they could summon the integrity and courage to be true to themselves.

That there are times that cause us to rethink who we want to be in the world.

That for a lot of reasons, this is one of those times.

My experience is that the more I have been true to myself, to what I believe, and to what I believe is possible, the more unexplained synchronicities have occurred to support me in my journey.

In other words, be true to yourself, and the universe has your back.

Are you interested in finding a group to explore this with? A group that can help you find and live from your deepest purpose?

Contact me and I’ll tell you more.

Third question tomorrow 🙂