“10x Is Easier Than 2x,” by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, is one of my favorite books for founders.

While the book has a lot of great strategies, it manages to bury the lede.

To me, the key to the whole thing is on page 69.

The book is talking about a successful founder, Chad, who has 10x’ed himself over and over. He has done all of the things that the book recommends. Focus on your unique ability. Stay in your zone of genius. Find smart people to help you. Take lots of time away to think strategically. And so on.

But the key of the book is this one sentence.

“Chad exhibits a quality that only the world’s top achievers do: the ability to rapidly accept a new identity.”

Unfortunately, the book says ALMOST NOTHING about HOW to do this.

Seeing Your Identity

The first thing to realize is this—

Your identity is a construct.

One of the reasons meditation can be very helpful is that when you quiet down, you can begin to hear the habitual thoughts that you have. About yourself, about life, about work, about others.

These thoughts are evidence of the software that is running behind the scenes. The operating system that has been running your life.

The beliefs you adopted from others (your parents, your peers, your culture) now, often unconsciously, run your life.

Those beliefs have brought you to your current level of success.

Getting In Your Own Way

One of my first founder clients put it well—

“We are between being a small company and a big one, and the thing that is in the way is me.”

As you notice your own thinking, what is it telling you?

“I have the best ideas.”

“I have to be the first one in and the last to leave.”

“I have to have the important conversations with clients and investors.”

“I have to be involved in every hire”

“People will try to get away with things if I’m not here to stop them.”

How have these beliefs helped you? What are they costing you now?

Reprogramming Yourself

If your beliefs, about yourself and the world, are getting in your way, how do you change them?

This is the key to massive growth.

Not many people know how to do this. And the things they try don’t work very well.

For example, research has shown that affirmations can actually make the opposite belief (typically, the belief you currently have) STRONGER. Because every time you say the affirmation, your subconscious is saying the thing you really believe back to you.

So what to do?

How do to this is well beyond a LinkedIn post. But if you reach out I’ll let you know more about something else I’m putting together—and you’ll be the first to get access to it when it’s ready.

Going Deeper

If you want to explore topics like this in more depth, you’re not alone.

More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work, and what they want to create, as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning. To the joy of feeling alive and “on purpose.”

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

I have a lot of memories of “first times” that were less than ideal.

Some of them, in fact, were horrible.

But here’s the thing.

If you are ever going to do something that you have never done before, you are going to have to do it a first time.

When’s The Last Time You Did Something For The First Time?

Last April, I started to play the alto saxophone.

I sang growing up but never learned an instrument. While learning an instrument can be tedious at times, for the most part I really enjoy it and I look forward to practicing.

Progress was slow but steady, and I found myself wanting a bit more. I had a buddy who was learning to play bass and we played together one Sunday.

Even though it was just random noise, it was fun.

He started taking lessons from the same guy who I was taking sax lessons from. (Convenient that we have someone who plays both professionally in our small valley.)

One thing led to another and soon our teacher, Kriss, had put together a five piece band. All men in their 50s, all less than a year into learning their instruments.

We started playing together in February.

About three weeks ago we were invited to play in a “School of Rock” style concert, consisting of six bands of kids, and us.

We said yes, not fully understanding what we were getting ourselves into.

Or at least I didn’t.

Every New Experience Is Different

I thought that performing in front of a crowd would not be a big deal for me.

After all, I’ve done a ton of public speaking, to audiences that were sometimes hundreds of people. This was a hundred or so parents of kids. How hard could it be, my mind told me.

My body had different ideas.

The first song was “10th Avenue Freeze Out” by Bruce Springsteen.

I botched my first line. The second was ok, but a bit squeaky. And then I botched the third.

I didn’t feel overly nervous, but my mouth was dry. While you can play the bass with a dry mouth, it absolutely affects what comes out of your saxophone.

It went downhill from there

I basically had an out of body experience where I was watching my mouth not doing what it needed to do, and then my fingers totally forgetting what they needed to do.

Actually, I’m not even sure what went wrong first.

On stage, under bright lights, I was feeling like I was letting my four bandmates down and embarrassing myself in the process.

For about a song and a half of our three song set, I struggled.

And then something shifted.

The Only Thing You Need From Your First Time

I got my feet under me. I felt like maybe I wasn’t going to die a humiliating death.

And I performed. From the end of the second song, “Just What I Needed” by The Cars, through my 16 measure solo to close “She Caught The Katy” by Taj Mahal, I was playing. Not quite in the zone playing, but good enough.

I ended strong. I felt good about it.

The goal of the first time is to survive it and want a second time.

In that sense, I succeeded.

Because I totally want to do this again.

Don’t Do This Your First Time

Your first time is unpredictable. Even if you think, “I’ve got this,” your body may have different ideas.

Don’t go after your ideal client the first time you do a client presentation.

Don’t go after your ideal board member.

Don’t go after your ideal investor.

These are make or break situations and you are already feeling pressure. Don’t add to it. Do some warm ups. Get in some reps.

But keep doing “first times.” All your growth is on the other side of them.

When’s Your Next First Time?

Let me know in the comments if I’ve inspired you to take on a “first time” and what that might look like for you.

And if you have a “first time” story that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear it.

Going Deeper

If you want to explore this in more depth, you’re not alone.

More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work, and what they want to create, as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning. To the joy of feeling alive and “on purpose.”

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

I was feeling really down earlier this week because I saw something more fully that I hadn’t been aware of.

I’ve been trying to save everyone.

I take care of a lot of people in my life.

My family, my adult children, my mom.

My clients.

And while I see so much possibility for them, I also see that I need them to need me to get there.

I need to be the hero, to come in and save the day and get you what you want, what you need.

Does that make sense?

I say I want people to succeed, but if I am honest I want them to succeed WITH MY HELP.

My tools, my methodology, my way of seeing the world.

And that’s been getting in my way.

I’m wondering if it’s been getting in yours.

Going Deeper

If you want to explore this in more depth, you are not alone.

More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work, and what they want to create, as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning. To the joy of feeling alive and “on purpose.”

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

As a high achiever, I notice a pattern.

I give myself a challenge. I meet the challenge. I find fleeting happiness in that challenge. I move to a different challenge.

I notice this with the people I hang out with, too.

I hang out with a group of high achievers. I learn what I can and quickly rise to the top of the group. I move to find a different group.

But I’ve noticed two things that I struggle with, and I’m wondering if the same might be true for you.

I Create People and Situations So That I Can Win

I was with a group of coaches this week and I have been coaching longer than most of them. I charge higher fees than most of them. In a lot of ways I am “more successful” than they are.

But this week I challenged myself to create every conversation as a gift, as something that I could learn from.

And I found there was so much richness in that room. That if I showed up as “I can learn from you,” rather than “Been there done that,” there was a world of new learning freshly available to me.

I came away from an intensive that I had attended for the first time in 2016 with a new perspective on what was available for me. With a new appreciation for the depth of work that was still available to me.

I could take this on as a lifelong journey rather than a check the box. Rather than, “Is that all there is?”

And I came back changed.

I Avoid Uncomfortable Rooms and Intimidating People

I feel like I’m pretty good at continually challenging myself.

But I’m really not.

Because I only take on challenges that I think I can meet. Things that look possible. Things that I can already see how I can get there.

As my coach said to me recently, “The only worthwhile challenge is the one that you have no idea how to do.”

How do I meet with people I have no idea if or how I can serve?

How do I serve them?

How do I get into more rooms that scare me?

What is it that I want that I have no idea how to get?

What Are You Avoiding Because It Scares You?

Does this resonate?

I confess I don’t know how to make this feeling go away.

For me or for you.

But I do know a lot more becomes available when I share it.

Let me know if that’s true for you, too.

Going Deeper

If you want to explore this in more depth, you are not alone.

More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work, and what they want to create, as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning. To the joy of feeling alive and “on purpose.”

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.