I watched my favorite movie, The Matrix, on Sunday (in honor of the 25th anniversary of its release).

It’s a movie that played a big part in a time in my life when I was going through many changes, including going through a divorce. I have seen it countless times. But this time something resonated around my own journey and that of the founders I work with.

Morpheus has taken Neo to see The Oracle, who he believes will tell Neo that he is “The One,” the human who will finally free everyone from The Matrix—the computer simulation created by yes, AI, to enslave humanity and use them as a power source.

The Oracle asks Neo if he thinks he is The One.

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

To which The Oracle responds, “I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Being The One is just like being in love. No one can tell you you’re in love, you just know it. Through and through. Balls to bones.”

Many of the founders I have met and worked with know this feeling. Much as I knew it when I decided to start a coaching business.

Just Knowing

Founders often know, through and through, balls to bones, what they have to do. They know their purpose. What they are here to create.

Sure, there might be hesitation, even fear. There are typically voices of inadequacy and doubt and “being reasonable.” But they choose not to listen.

Over and over again, they decide to move forward. To keep going. They might pivot, or fail. The first three or eight or twenty tries might not work.

I have known founders who have almost lost their businesses. Even declared bankruptcy before turning things around. Yet they kept going, and ultimately succeeded. They were not willing to give up. They just knew they could find a way.

What Have YOU Just Known?

You might not be a founder of a business. Or you might be on your third exit. But I bet there were times, whether you acted on them or not, where you “just knew.” Without knowing how or why.

I want you to think about those times. Then I want you to conduct another experiment.

What Do You Just Know Right Now?

I bet that when you are quiet, when you can hear behind the noise of the repetitive thoughts in your head, the chatter that reminds you to stay small and be reasonable, there is something you already know to be true. You could think about it as your mission, or your purpose, or simply a next step that you just know you need to take.

But it is something you just know that if you keep going, if you keep trying, you CAN create.

You CAN Do It, But WILL You?

I know that many of my clients CAN do great things. They have the capacity, they have the intelligence, they have the persistence.

But I have no control over whether they WILL.

CAN is about persistence.

WILL is about resistance. And seeing through that resistance.

WILL you honor what you know? WILL you keep going, despite the fear and the voices in your head? WILL you see that it is only your thinking that is holding you back?

WILL it be helpful to have someone alongside you who believes in you even more than you do?

If you’ve taken up this challenge, let me know in the comments.

Want To Go Deeper?

Does this resonate? More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning.

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.

Even though you are likely reading this on March 27, I am writing it on March 21.

I’ve given myself a challenge. Can I step away from work for a full week? Can I do NO work the week of March 25-29?

Those of you who are founders or entrepreneurs can understand how big a challenge this is. I have a team who helps with some things but the big stuff—namely client acquisition and service delivery—is just me.

There is this nagging feeling that if I step away things are going to fall apart without me.

There is this nagging feeling that if I need to be there for my clients and prospects, serving, helping, delivering.

That I need to be checking in, “just in case.”

I help founders come from a more grounded place, but I sometimes do that at the expense of my own groundedness. When I do manage to step away from the emails and notifications, it can be to “think bigger,” which is another way of saying I am just doing a different kind of work.

Another way of being “productive.”

All. The. Time.

It’s exhausting.

Can I Take An Actual Vacation?

This week we are taking our exchange student to Washington, DC. Before moving to Colorado in 2017, I spent 17 years in the DC area, the last ten in Bethesda, MD.

We are staying with our old neighbors, visiting friends, catching up.

We are doing all the tourist stuff with our exchange student (she is from Japan and has never been to DC).

I’m sure we will eat a lot of good food. We will see our oldest, who lives there now but is about to move to Pittsburgh.

And I am going to try like anything to just be there for that.

To take time away without knowing what will happen, what will arise in that space, what will happen when I just allow things to reset.

Can YOU Step Away?

Even a day can help. Even a day can help reset your system, flush out some of the adrenaline and cortisol that make everything look like an emergency.

(That’s right—your stressed state makes things LOOK like emergencies.)

What would a day of just doing nothing bring?

No helpful reading. No strategic planning. Nothing “productive.”

“Doing” as little as possible.

I know it feels really uncomfortable to me.

Can you join me in that experiment?

Let’s compare notes.

Want To Go Deeper?

Does this resonate? More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning.

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see it’s not the answer.” —Jim Carrey

Cursed By Your Success?

A lot of the founders I work with ultimately hit a point they have been looking forward to for a long time.

After the business idea. After those first few employees, and customers.

After growth, funding, outside investors.

After they scale and build a “real” company with a real leadership team.

A CFO, a head of sales, a head of product, of customer service.

If the founder is following the playbook, they begin stepping away from the day to day aspects of the business. The team manages that while the founder holds the vision.

And at some point, the team even takes that over.

At that point, the founder faces a paradox. The point they have looked forward to is here.

They have more financial success than they ever thought they would have.

And they are essentially unnecessary. Bored even.

How did this happen?

Is It Boredom, Or Something Else?

It is true that sometimes the founder has fallen into malaise, or even depression.

But sometimes, not far beneath that bored exterior, is something different.

Sometimes, they are terrified.

Because the very identity that they have created and hung onto for so long is now being threatened.

The very thing they thought would “fix” them didn’t work.

I had a prominent role at my last employer. I spoke at events, I created content, I even did client-facing videos.

People at Fortune 100 companies knew my name and reached out to me.

When I was laid off in 2016, all that crumbled.

I no longer had any of that.

If I wasn’t that guy, who was I?

I knew at that point that my next step was not going to be as an employee in another large firm. But my first thought was to start a consulting business, even though I had wanted to go out on my own as a coach for several years.

Why?

Because I was scared to death. Because there was something I knew I wanted that I had secretly wanted for years, but didn’t know if I could get.

I wanted to coach. I wanted to coach founders and business owners. And I had no idea how to do that and if I would succeed.

At least for the first few months I chose consulting over coaching because I was scared I would try to be a coach and fail.

I was scared because I saw no reasonable way to make a full time living as a coach.

I was scared to go after my dream because of what it might mean about me if I didn’t succeed.

It took a conversation with a good friend to change that. To see that this was a calling, and the universe had actually given me a severance package and space to go after it. I now had an obligation, for myself, my family and my future clients, to pursue it.

That was in 2016. Today, on the other side of that fear, things look very different.

What Are You Scared Of?

When I hear a successful business owner talk about what is practical or realistic I start to get really curious.

Why do they feel the need to be practical? Why do they feel the need to do more of the same, even as they are bored or stagnant?

Often, what’s behind that is fear.

Sometimes there is so much fear there that the person in front of me is unaware of it.

They are afraid to even feel it. To acknowledge there is a dream that is beckoning them, that might have been calling for a long time even as they tried to dismiss it.

Behind that fear is often a clue to what they have really been wanting the whole time.

What are you afraid that your success might have been preparing you for?

Following that fear might be even more critical than following your bliss.

How To Dig Deeper

How do you get access to a fear you are unaware of?

Get quiet. Go off the grid. Spend some time away from the environment you have been so successful in.

There is a quiet patient voice that has been waiting for you. Waiting to share the next step on your journey.

When you can hear that voice, or sense that knowing, you will see the next step.

And for many, after years of an outer journey, the next phase will be an inner one. One more aligned to your true purpose, beyond your capacity to create a business or external success.

One where the internal journey may lead to depths that actually astonish you as you discover who you really are.

What is it that is calling you? What if you were willing to pursue that, especially in the face of your fear?

Does This Resonate?

Does any of this resonate with you?

If so, reach out to me and I’ll send you a special video that goes even deeper.

More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning.

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.

You know the situation.

It seems like things just keep coming. One after another after another. It’s hard to deal with. How could anyone deal with this?

And then, just as suddenly as it started, it stops. At least for a bit.

Silence.

Relief, even.

But then…

Discomfort.

You instinctively check your phone, your texts, your email, your social media.

You’ve been saying for weeks that you couldn’t wait for a break. But now that you have one, it almost feels like withdrawal. You can’t even enjoy the break you said you craved!

What’s going on?

What Happens Under Stress

When humans are in a stressful situation, a special cocktail of chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline are released into the bloodstream.

These chemicals create urgency and focus.

In optimal amounts they feel good. There is a “get shit done” modality that kicks in here. As much as we feel like we are in emergency mode (which in a sense we are), we also feel very, very alive.

When the situation goes away, our bodies want to keep that aliveness going.

In a very real sense, that sense of looking for something else, for some other aspect of the emergency, is like another phenomenon.

Withdrawal.

Just like other addictions you might be familiar with.

Stress Brings Some Very Good Things

Our capacity and focus under stress can be very good things.

IF we have very defined things to do, stress can help us accomplish more of these things in less time.

Like a well-timed cup of coffee, stress can give us the jolt we need.

This is one reason why procrastination can have such a powerful effect.

As a former law colleague of mine told me, “Give me some coffee and an unreasonable deadline and I can do anything.”

That’s what stress can do for us.

The Downsides Of Stress

Unfortunately, stress can also bring some very bad things.

The human body is not designed to be under stress, to be in fight-or-flight mode, for very long. Thousands of years ago, hunters would track game for a day or two, then face significant stress in the moments leading up to the kill.

They would drag the kill back to camp, and, for days or weeks, rest and eat.

Full stress mode was at most 5 to 10 percent of the time.

Thousands of years later, we have changed, but our bodies have not. Our stresses are now not only self-inflicted, but almost constant. Our environment, our mental outlook on the world and our place in it, has evolved. We have not

Almost every chronic condition that humans face is at least related to and often primarily caused by stress.

High blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, type 2 diabetes, gastric reflux, IBS, just to name a few.

But the downsides are not just physical.

Remember that stress produces a narrowing of focus. Any resources that are not required are taken off line.

This includes physical processes like digestion, but also things that require the right hemisphere of the brain.

Emotional regulation, empathic communication, holistic thinking.

Your ability to manage your people and see your long-term strategy? Essentially nonexistent.

Empathy? Compassion? Gone.

Your Business Needs You At Your Best

“Best,” however, depends on the needs of the situation.

When you are in task mode, “best” may mean stressed, caffeinated, alive.

But when you are connecting with your employees, your customers, your investors, “best” requires a wholly different skill set.

Calm, clear, present.

Empathy, intuition, holistic thinking.

All of these things are more accessible if you feel less stress.

If you are able to slow down.

If you are able to tune into the quieter voices in you that, I assure you, are there and available and essential.

The Withdrawal Of Slowing Down

The hardest step is to step away.

To get into the habit of regularly slowing down. To get away from the urge to be constantly doing.

For some people, slowing down can be a regular meditation practice. Or it can be a walk in nature or listening to relaxing music.

For some people, slowing down can look like speeding up. A hard run or workout.

The key is to slow down your mind.

To allow the chemicals, and your frantic thinking, to dissipate.

It can feel incredibly uncomfortable.

But I assure you, over time, it is transformational. And essential to the long term sustainability of your business, and yourself.

Want To Go Deeper?

Does any of this resonate with you?

If so, reach out to me and I’ll send you a special video that goes even deeper.

More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning.

This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.

The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.