I have a lot of memories of “first times” that were less than ideal.
Some of them, in fact, were horrible.
But here’s the thing.
If you are ever going to do something that you have never done before, you are going to have to do it a first time.
When’s The Last Time You Did Something For The First Time?
Last April, I started to play the alto saxophone.
I sang growing up but never learned an instrument. While learning an instrument can be tedious at times, for the most part I really enjoy it and I look forward to practicing.
Progress was slow but steady, and I found myself wanting a bit more. I had a buddy who was learning to play bass and we played together one Sunday.
Even though it was just random noise, it was fun.
He started taking lessons from the same guy who I was taking sax lessons from. (Convenient that we have someone who plays both professionally in our small valley.)
One thing led to another and soon our teacher, Kriss, had put together a five piece band. All men in their 50s, all less than a year into learning their instruments.
We started playing together in February.
About three weeks ago we were invited to play in a “School of Rock” style concert, consisting of six bands of kids, and us.
We said yes, not fully understanding what we were getting ourselves into.
Or at least I didn’t.
Every New Experience Is Different
I thought that performing in front of a crowd would not be a big deal for me.
After all, I’ve done a ton of public speaking, to audiences that were sometimes hundreds of people. This was a hundred or so parents of kids. How hard could it be, my mind told me.
My body had different ideas.
The first song was “10th Avenue Freeze Out” by Bruce Springsteen.
I botched my first line. The second was ok, but a bit squeaky. And then I botched the third.
I didn’t feel overly nervous, but my mouth was dry. While you can play the bass with a dry mouth, it absolutely affects what comes out of your saxophone.
It went downhill from there
I basically had an out of body experience where I was watching my mouth not doing what it needed to do, and then my fingers totally forgetting what they needed to do.
Actually, I’m not even sure what went wrong first.
On stage, under bright lights, I was feeling like I was letting my four bandmates down and embarrassing myself in the process.
For about a song and a half of our three song set, I struggled.
And then something shifted.
The Only Thing You Need From Your First Time
I got my feet under me. I felt like maybe I wasn’t going to die a humiliating death.
And I performed. From the end of the second song, “Just What I Needed” by The Cars, through my 16 measure solo to close “She Caught The Katy” by Taj Mahal, I was playing. Not quite in the zone playing, but good enough.
I ended strong. I felt good about it.
The goal of the first time is to survive it and want a second time.
In that sense, I succeeded.
Because I totally want to do this again.
Don’t Do This Your First Time
Your first time is unpredictable. Even if you think, “I’ve got this,” your body may have different ideas.
Don’t go after your ideal client the first time you do a client presentation.
Don’t go after your ideal board member.
Don’t go after your ideal investor.
These are make or break situations and you are already feeling pressure. Don’t add to it. Do some warm ups. Get in some reps.
But keep doing “first times.” All your growth is on the other side of them.
When’s Your Next First Time?
Let me know in the comments if I’ve inspired you to take on a “first time” and what that might look like for you.
And if you have a “first time” story that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear it.
Going Deeper
If you want to explore this in more depth, you’re not alone.
More and more founders like you are coming out of the spiritual closet and seeing their work, and what they want to create, as a vital personal journey to both abundance and meaning. To the joy of feeling alive and “on purpose.”
This is what I write about. For founders, for original thinkers, no matter where they are in their transformation.
The world needs YOU, in all your brilliance and imperfection.
If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.
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