A lot of my work with clients is pointing out what they are actually doing, versus what they think they are doing.
It turns out that a lot of the stuff that we think is helpful, essential even, is really unnecessary. And our lives get a lot easier, and more effective, when we see that.
For example, what most people think they are doing when they make a decision is carefully weighing options and then deciding based on the data. And when the data are inconclusive they study the numbers intently until they figure it out.
What is actually happening is this—
We see something that’s obvious and we do that.
If it’s not obvious, we don’t do anything until it is obvious, and then we do that.
If we have to do something before it’s obvious, we make our best guess, based on our experience. In fact, the only time we really call something a “decision” is when we come across something that isn’t obvious and we don’t know what to do. Most of the time we’re just doing stuff.
There’s a lot of things we add to this thing we call a decision—analysis, pros and cons, grinding at spreadsheets, fretting at 4 am— that is really just stuff we do until it becomes obvious. Until our innate wisdom kicks in.
Try this and see for yourself.
See what in your decision process is actually useful. And what—like the struggle and the fretting at 4 am—is completely optional.
See how your wisdom will work whether you struggle and worry or not.
And see how maybe things can be a little easier than you thought.