What would you continue to include?

What would you change?

You might find that you are creating things that you don’t think you want. But on some level, those things, like worry, like defending yourself, like trying to look smart or not feel stupid, are based on a simple misunderstanding of who you are.

You are not the identity you have created (or let others create). You are the creator of that identity. We all are. To me, this is what it means to be made in the image of God.

How are you using that infinite creative capacity? What do you think of your creation so far?

If you realized your innocence and began again, what would you create with the full knowledge of what you are doing?

What could you create?

When people are thinking about making a significant life change, they often confuse what they really want with three other things–

First, what they think they can have. I remember a client telling me that every move she had made to that point was because a recruiter had called her about a role. She was totally at the mercy of what others offered to her. She never reached out on her own or even thought about what else was possible.

While that’s an extreme case, most of us, most of the time, tend to think in terms of, “what I currently have, but 10 percent better.” And we wonder why the next thing doesn’t satisfy us!

Second, what they think others expect from them. I have had many conversations with overacheivers who thought their spouses, their families, needed them to provide a particular lifestyle or amount of money. In one recent case, I asked a client to actually ask his spouse what she wanted. He was stunned when his spouse and kids most wanted was for him to be around more. They didn’t care about all the nice things they could afford or his job title; they wanted him!

This client was also falling into the third trap—thinking that achievements or money can somehow fix some deep flaw they see in themselves.

But when my clients see that all of this is simply thoughts that come and go (just like the rest of their experience), it becomes clear very quickly that there is nothing outside of them than can ever fix an internal experience.

When people really see that, they are ready to tune into the key way to know what they actually want.

Desire.

Desire—simply wanting something just because you want it—is a precious gift. It is our road map. When we want something just because we want it, creating it becomes fun.

And when we truly commit to that creation, somehow magic begins to happen. One of my favorite quotes is from William Hutchison Murray in his book, “The Scottish Himalayan Expedition,” published in 1951. Forgive the gender specific language—

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness…[T]he moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

“All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

You might not know what providence will bring, but the first and most important step is to actually begin. When you do that, guided by your desire, you can create what to the outsider looks like miracles.

What do you desire? And what are you willing to commit to?

What is the most important thing that you could read today?

The thing you most WANT to see.

The thing you most NEED to see, even if you don’t WANT to consider it.

Is it that you could actually be true to what you want, that to be true to that would be the thing that would most serve others as well?

Is it that what the universe put you here for, your mission, your purpose, is simply to be you?

Does that excite you, or terrify you?

Consider this a prompt, a reminder, to take some time, any time, to explore that.

The entire universe is counting on you.

Six years ago today, I was let go from Fidelity Investments and my journey toward becoming a coach began.

I resisted at first. I tried like anything to get another job within Fidelity, and then to develop a consulting business. Until I realized that what I really wanted, what I even felt called to do, was to become a coach helping senior leaders to transform in the same way that my teachers and mentors and coaches had helped me to transform.

In this journey of the last six years, I’ve noticed there are a few things that get in the way. No one told me about these things, and I’m sharing them in the hopes that they will help you create what you want, just as I have been able to create (or at least to start creating) what I want.

1. Know what you want
No one tells you how hard it is to actually know what you want. For you. Not the things that you think others expect of you, or the things you think you can have. The things you actually want.

2. Trust your inner knowing
For me, coaching was about a quiet knowing. I would challenge it, I would say it wasn’t practical, that I wasn’t qualified. But it knew, and it waited for me to come around. I am so grateful for that inner knowing, and for learning that I could trust it.

3. Ignore (most) other people
Chances are, that thing you really want is not on the predictable path, and most people have taken the predictable path. They will sabotage you to make themselves right. Not out of malice, but out of genuine concern that you are trying something that isn’t possible. But there are a few people who will see your magic. Hold on to those people. They are priceless.

4. Be unrealistic
It’s actually easier to do something unrealistic than to do something linear. Because linear requires more and more of the same. Linear is exhausting. Unrealistic requires you to create yourself differently, to see the world differently. And that transformation makes the seemingly impossible easy.

5. Do it even though you don’t know what will happen
So many people refuse to take the leap without knowing where the net is and EXACTLY how it will catch them. These people will never start. Because it is impossible to know how it will work out. You just have to trust that it will.

6. Continue to do it even when it’s hard or you’re stuck
The spiritual teacher Byron Katie says that you can have anything you want as long as you are willing to ask 1000 people. Creation is the same. You may not have to continue for years and years, but you have to be WILLING to. You have to come from that willingness, because otherwise you will stop the first time you run into a learning opportunity disguised as an obstacle.

Six years into this journey, I am so grateful that I have learned each of these. I offer them today to you in both gratitude and the hope that they will help YOU create what you really want.