Yesterday I put the finishing touches on a book that is near and dear to my heart.

”Lead from Purpose: How Finding and Living from Your Deeper Reason for Being is Key to Everything You Want” is now available to anyone who requests it. You can find a link to a free copy in the “Want to Go Deeper?” box to the right of this blog.

My hope is that, like my clients, as many people as possible begin to see that we have success backwards.

That we think that if we get the right job, the right title, the right amount of money, that we will somehow be “fixed” and happy.

But actually the opposite is true. When we see that there was never anything wrong with us, then we are free to create what we were meant to create. To do what we were meant to do.

And then all the other stuff tends to come anyway. Just as we realized we don’t really need it!

The last of the four ways that spiritual teacher Michael Beckwith says that we can see life is “as me.”

What does he mean by this?

Remember that when life is operating “through me,” we are beginning to drop the small self and sense into the bigger one.

“As me” refers to living as this bigger self. Whatever you wish to call it. Infinite intelligence. Spirit. God. The domain of saints and sages.

Of course, most of us get mere momentary glimpses of “as me.”

But when we do, they are remarkably healing. We see that everything is already perfect. That nothing needs to be done.

We can be grateful when we get a moment to rest as this.

And we can also appreciate when it becomes clear it’s time to work again. Because it is in this “as me” space that insight comes. Whether it is simply about the next thing we need to do, or the bigger purpose that the universe has in store for us.

Have you been in this space? What insights have you had while in it?

I’ve written about living as if life is happening “to you,” or “by you,” and the key difference that entails.

But there is still another way.

And that is to feel that life is created “through you.”

When we think that life is created by us, we see the power that we have, but we tend to take the perspective of an individual, who has individual wants.

We can get really good at creating lots of stuff this way. The jobs, the homes, the cars, the money.

But deep satisfaction tends to elude us.

Dan Pink wrote in “Drive: The Surprising Truth about What Motivates Us,” that the three things that we all need are autonomy, mastery, and purpose.

Purpose. A higher calling. A connection to something bigger than ourselves. Something meaningful. Something that will give back, will make the world better.

Some way to leave the world just a little better because of our efforts.

And those things only tend to come through us when our small self, with its petty, ego-driven wants, gets out of the way.

The shift from “by me” to “through me” is in many ways that shift from small self to bigger self. To the still small voice in each of us.

When you are in touch with your bigger self, what wants to come through you?

I’ve been writing about four ways in which it can look like life is happening.

The second of these is “by me.”

That is, I see that I have the power to create.

I have the power of choice.

In the first way, when life happens “to me,” I am a victim of whatever circumstances are happening “out there.”

WIth “by me,” I am no longer a victim. There are always choices I can make, actions I can take, in response to my circumstances. Actions that can actually change those circumstances.

The most powerful shift that a person can make is the shift from “to me” to “by me.”

But even “by me” has limitations.

Because when most people see that they have the power to create, the question becomes how to use that power.

What to create?

And for most people, that means creating something outside of themselves.

A job, a partner, money, power.

And the person in “by me” tends to think that if they can change the outside enough, they can make the inside feel better.

They tend to think, “If only I get this [job, spouse, home, car], then I will be happy.”

How have you used the power of “by me” to get what you want?

And how long did it give you what you were actually looking for?