As a founder coach, I think about leadership and leadership styles a lot. One thing I often notice is how leaders, especially those heading companies, can gradually compromise their values in pursuit of higher goals. They might start as Ted Lasso, but more and more they end up like Walter White.

It’s easy to look at Ted Lasso, the incredibly hopeful, optimistic (maybe even naive) American leader of a British soccer club, and Walter White, the drug lord from Breaking Bad, as opposites. But reducing them to “Ted good, Walter bad” misses a crucial point. Their journeys and processes offer deeper insights.

Ted Lasso: Process Over Outcome

Ted Lasso’s leadership revolves around creating and nurturing a process. He emphasizes emotional, technical, and other forms of support, focusing on helping individuals be their best selves. Winning is not his main goal; it’s a happy side effect of a supportive environment and personal development. His influence is profoundly positive, fostering a great team and work atmosphere.

Ted’s philosophy is centered on the belief that a strong, supportive process leads to success. By prioritizing the well-being and growth of his team members, he creates an environment where everyone thrives. This, in turn, results in a successful soccer team and a fulfilling workplace. Ted’s leadership style highlights the importance of process, community, and personal development over mere outcomes. He doesn’t sacrifice his values for his goals—instead he creates an environment where both are supported.

Walter White: The Cost of the End Justifying the Means

Walter White, on the other hand, claims at every step of the way that his goal is to provide for his family. However, each choice he makes to maximize money for his family pulls him deeper into the drug trade. He equates leaving a large sum of money with providing for his family, but in the process, he destroys his relationships and, ultimately, his soul. His focus on the end goal of money leads him to sacrifice everything he truly values.

Walter’s journey is a cautionary tale about the dangers of prioritizing end goals over values and relationships. His initial intention to secure his family’s future becomes overshadowed by his descent into moral compromise and criminal activity. Breaking Bad is a brilliant and powerful reminder of the consequences of losing sight of one’s core values in the pursuit of success.

Real-Life Insights: Leading with Heart

I don’t know many real-life Walter Whites, but I do encounter people who mistakenly prioritize money, believing it will bring them what they want. This slow descent happens one decision at a time, and founders often end up compromising their true desires in the pursuit of financial gain.

One more weekend at work, one more trip that means you miss your child’s game or recital. Before long, your family no longer cares about your “sacrifices” for them. They’re just sad you never seem to want to spend time with them.

I spoke with a successful founder recently and asked him how he managed to avoid becoming consumed by his business empire. His response was enlightening: “The money is a side effect of doing the right thing.” This founder genuinely loves his team, suppliers, and customers, emphasizing that a happy, purposeful, joy-filled life naturally attracts financial success. You don’t need a big exit to fix everything when everything is already aligned and fulfilling.

Creating a Purposeful Leadership Journey

Does this resonate with you?

I’m hosting an invitation-only virtual roundtable on September 17th for founders to explore the concept of “the exit” and what lies beyond it. If you’re within two to three years of an exit, I’d love to invite you to join a small group of us live. Let’s discuss how to create a meaningful founder journey where financial success is a byproduct, not the end goal.

Reach out if this speaks to you

This week, I want to talk about a powerful concept that can transform your personal and professional life: being unapologetic. This doesn’t mean being a jerk or refusing to apologize when you’re wrong. Instead, it’s about being unapologetically you—embracing who you are, your strengths, your weaknesses, and everything in between.

Embrace Your Strengths

Each of us has a unique set of skills and talents, what Gay Hendricks calls your “zone of genius.” These are the things you excel at naturally, the tasks that come easily to you and that you genuinely enjoy. It’s essential to own these strengths without hesitation or downplaying them. When someone says, “How do you do that so effortlessly?” own it. Acknowledge your talents and be comfortable declaring, “I’m really good at this.”

Acknowledge Your Weaknesses

Being unapologetic also means recognizing and accepting your weaknesses. We all have areas where we struggle, and that’s perfectly okay. Admit when you need help and seek assistance without shame. Whether it’s hiring someone to fill in the gaps or asking for support from colleagues, acknowledging your weaknesses is a sign of strength. It shows you are self-aware and committed to growth.

The Benefits of Being Unapologetically You

1. Authenticity: Embracing both your strengths and weaknesses allows you to be your true self. This authenticity fosters trust and respect from those around you.
2. Confidence: When you own your abilities and are honest about your limitations, you build genuine confidence. This confidence can inspire and lead others effectively.
3. Resilience: By accepting your full self, you become more resilient. You are better prepared to handle challenges and setbacks because you are not pretending to be someone you’re not.
4. Collaborative Success: Acknowledging that you need help in certain areas encourages collaboration. It allows you to build a team where everyone’s strengths complement each other, leading to greater success.

How to Be Unapologetic

• Self-Reflection: Take time to understand your strengths and weaknesses. Reflect on what you do well and where you need support.
• Declaration: Be vocal about your skills. Don’t shy away from celebrating your successes and contributions.
• Seek Help: Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Whether it’s hiring someone for tasks that aren’t your forte or collaborating with a colleague, seeking assistance is crucial.
• Continuous Learning: Always strive to learn and improve. Recognize that weaknesses are opportunities for growth.

Conclusion

Being unapologetic about who you are—embracing your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses—can lead to a more fulfilling and successful life. It brings a sense of ease and authenticity that can transform your personal and professional relationships.

So, the next time you think about your strengths and weaknesses, remember to be unapologetically you. Embrace your brilliance and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your life and work will be richer for it.

How has being unapologetically you impacted your journey?

I was first exposed to the concept of expectations versus agreements by Coach Steve Chandler.

Even though that was years ago, I find myself revisiting it over and over. In fact, I just got off a call where I spend about half the time talking about this with a client business owner.

It’s a distinction I’ve seen enable dramatic shifts for leaders across all aspects of their lives.

It’s a distinction I try to remind myself of daily.

The Trap of Expectations

We all go through life with expectations—of how others should behave, how a direct report should perform, how a client or customer should show up, and even how board members and investors should act. Most of these expectations remain unclear and unstated, leading to frustration and defensiveness.

Consider this scenario: a leader feels powerful by setting expectations and expresses disappointment when they aren’t met. The recipient, however, often has no idea what the expectations were because they were never clearly communicated. Or they feel like the expectations were unrealistic but they had no ability to challenge them or even have a discussion.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of expectations where someone said, “You should have known,” or “You haven’t met my expectations”? The first impulse is often to defend oneself, to argue that you were unaware of what was being asked. Both parties end up in a cycle of frustrated and defensiveness.

Expectations are a curse. If someone meets your expectations, they merely meet the baseline; if they don’t, you’re left disappointed. It’s a no-win situation, which ultimately hampers productivity and morale.

The Magic of Agreements

An agreement involves a two-way conversation, where both parties have input and buy-in. Unlike unstated or imposed expectations, agreements require mutual understanding and commitment. Agreements are like a magical superpower for engagement and satisfaction.

Imagine this: you have a goal for your sales team. Instead of imposing this target, you discuss it with your team. “Do you agree this is an appropriate goal for the quarter?” If the team leader needs additional resources to meet this goal, you discuss and provide them. This way, everyone is on the same page, and there is a shared commitment to the goal.

An agreement is a dialogue. For example, if Sue says she needs another salesperson to achieve the goal, you consider and provide the necessary resources (or adjust the goal). This transforms the interaction from a top-down directive to a true conversation. The goal is now a mutual commitment rather than an imposed expectation.

Agreements transform defensiveness into collaboration. When people have input and agree on the goals and deliverables, they are more motivated to achieve them. This approach doesn’t just remake your business; it can significantly improve personal relationships too.

Real-Life Impact

Reflecting on my own life, I’ve noticed that issues in my relationships (yes, including my wife) have often stemmed from unspoken expectations rather than explicit agreements. When both parties are clear about their commitments and have agreed upon them, the relationship thrives. When expectations are allowed to fester, everyone is frustrated. This principle applies to professional relationships as well. Clear agreements prevent misunderstandings and foster a cooperative environment.

In professional settings, agreements can reshape team dynamics. When team members know what is expected and have agreed to their roles and responsibilities, they are more likely to take ownership of their tasks. This leads to higher accountability and better performance.

Shifting from Expectations to Agreements

The shift from expectations to agreements requires a conscious effort to communicate clearly and involve all parties in the decision-making process. Here are some steps to facilitate this shift:

1. Initiate Open Conversations: Start with a dialogue about goals and expectations. Make sure everyone has a voice and can express their needs and concerns.
2. Clarify Roles and Responsibilities: Ensure that everyone understands their role and what is expected of them. This includes defining specific deliverables and timelines.
3. Provide Necessary Resources: If someone needs additional resources to meet an agreement, provide them. This shows your commitment to their success and reinforces the agreement.
4. Regular Check-Ins: Hold regular check-ins to monitor progress and address any issues that arise. This keeps everyone aligned and accountable.
5. Celebrate Successes: When agreements are met, celebrate the success. This reinforces the positive impact of working collaboratively and meeting commitments.

Conclusion

Shifting from expectations to agreements can transform your leadership, enhance your business outcomes, and shift your personal relationships as well. Embrace the magic of agreements and watch everything change for the better. As a leader, moving away from the curse of expectations and towards the magic of agreements can be a game-changer.

Improved results with less stress for everyone. What could be better?

How have agreements versus expectations played a role in your leadership journey?

A Chat with Entrepreneur Michael McAllister

Last week I caught up with Michael McAllister about his entrepreneurial experience from founding of The CE Shop, an online e-learning provider, to exit. (DM me for a link to the full interview). We talked about not just his business achievements, including a life-changing transaction in 2020, but also the personal growth that came along with them.

Here are some of the highlights—

From Employee to Entrepreneur

Michael grew up in an entrepreneurial family. “I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur,” Michael shared. “I was never a good employee per se. I had other ways of doing things.” His path to starting his own business was not straightforward, but it was driven by a clear understanding that he needed to create something on his terms. After ten years in technology sales and marketing, Michael found himself building a business model that resonated with his vision.

“I actually built a spreadsheet with all the characteristics of a business that I wanted,” he said. Evaluating different opportunities, he found a business in Texas providing licensing education through mail-order materials. Although he didn’t end up buying that business, it inspired him to create his own.

Navigating Challenges While Staying True to Core Values

One significant lesson from Michael’s journey is the importance of aligning business decisions with core values. He recounted a pivotal moment when he turned down an attractive deal because it didn’t align with the company’s values. “Listening to your gut and knowing what you have is amazing is crucial. We ended up waiting, and it paid off. Covid hit, our business doubled, and we later secured a deal that was twice the original offer.”

The Inner Journey of Entrepreneurship

“The entrepreneurial journey is really the entrepreneur’s inner journey,” Michael emphasized. This intertwined nature of personal growth and business success became evident as he discussed the challenges of balancing work with personal life. “I was physically present but not always emotionally connected,” he admitted, highlighting the sacrifices made along the way.

Michael’s drive was partly fueled by a desire to overcome a sense of lack he felt growing up. “I know that part of my soul’s journey was to say, ‘Okay, we’re done with that.’ I wanted to give everyone in my family some breathing space,” he said.

Life After the Exit

Post-exit, Michael has focused on supporting early-stage companies and entrepreneurs, stressing the importance of self-awareness and alignment with personal values. “I have no interest in investing in anything just to make money. It needs to be rooted in something greater.”

Looking Forward

Michael is taking a relaxed approach to his next steps, letting things unfold naturally. “I’m really committed to letting it emerge, to show up,” he said, showing a shift from his previous, more driven approach. He believes in the power of manifesting one’s vision. “We are powerful beyond our own awareness,” he said.

He recounted a story about his early days working in a small, cold office in Fargo, North Dakota, dreaming of a prosperous business with a view of the Rocky Mountains. “Sure enough, in 2014, we moved the business to Denver and rented a spectacular office with a view of the mountains,” he said.

Join Us on September 17

I’m excited to announce that Michael and several other entrepreneurs will join us for a special event on September 17. We’ll dive deeper into their experiences, their insights, their words of caution. Don’t miss this chance to learn from those who have navigated the ups and downs of entrepreneurship with wisdom and resilience.

We will be making room for a limited number of entrepreneurs to join us live for this invitation-only virtual event. The recording will be made available to anyone who requests it.

If you’ve like to be considered, please reply “founder” in the comments below or send me a DM.

We’ll be sharing more stories from inspiring entrepreneurs in the weeks to come.

#founder #founders #exit