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Jeff Munn, Creating Extraordinary Futures

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September 8, 2023 by Jeff

Your Hard Work Is Costing You Everything You Say You Want

Executive coaching, founder, ceo
Your Hard Work Is Costing You Everything You Say You Want

“I want to work so hard that there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that I deserve my success.” —Stephen A. Smith

I’m a big sports fan and eagerly listened to Bill Simmons’ recent interview with Stephen A.

But when I heard this, I thought, “What a prison to build for yourself.”

Then I started hearing my clients saying versions of this.

“I have to be the first one in and the last one out.”

“I want to be there enough for my team to know I’ve got their back.”

“I need to be there so I can provide for my family.”

What do all these things have in common?

They start with the idea that we are not enough. That we have to always do more to prove ourselves. To others, and more importantly, to ourselves.

The Nagging Sense of Not Being Enough

In almost every high achiever that I have come across, there is a sense that there is no amount of work that they could ever do that would be enough. Often this comes from a childhood in which they were only seen for what they did, rather than who they were. Sometimes there is abuse or addiction involved. And it can go back generations.

I have struggled with this for years. As a recovering overachiever, constantly trying to prove myself to emotionally absent parents, I have to constantly remind myself of my inherent self worth.

Recently this came up for me as I was thinking about what I wanted to work on at the end of the summer, a typically slow time for me.

Rather than accept the rhythms of the business and the downtime, I stressed out. I had to bring in some clients, and I had to do it now. It felt like my life and livelihood depended on it.

Did it change things? No. But I did get the “satisfaction” of trying some things before I saw what I was doing.

Caught. Again.

What You Get From Working Too Hard

A Harvard professor in human development, Robert Keegan, writes about what he calls “competing commitments.”

A competing commitment is often invisible to us but keeps us from doing what we know we should be doing.

“I have to work hard” is ingrained in many successful people I know, this “grind it out” philosophy of success based on rules that we do not see we have written.

That “success” (itself only a concept) only comes to people who work hard.

That our sense of self worth comes from working hard.

That we can feel like we are enough, that we deserve success, if only we work hard enough.

That working hard is based on output and efficiency and productivity. We must constantly be thinking about how to get MORE things done.

However hard we work, though, it never seems like it is enough or could ever BE enough.

And notice how much working hard gets in the way of what you really want in your business.

What You Actually Want From Your Business

To maximize your income and net worth, you want a business that runs itself. You might set the strategy, at least for now, but eventually you must give up even that.

If you are essential, you can never sell the business.

You have only maximized the value of your business when you are completely unnecessary to it.

This means—

Delegating everything.

Turning your knowledge into systems and culture and teams. (Or better yet, hiring someone who can do that for you.)

Getting out of the way.

The very things that your “I have to work hard” self would call lazy.

This is the paradox of scaling your business. The very reason you got into business, to prove yourself, constantly gets in the way of everything you need to create a sound business.

But that ignores an even bigger paradox—the relationship paradox.

The Biggest Cost—The Relationship Risk

The biggest cost of hard work may be something even more tragic than exhaustion.

One of the main upsides to having a successful business is the security that it provides for your family.

But you can feel like you have to neglect your family to get there.

And then you feel unappreciated for neglecting your family. That they don’t understand your sacrifice for them. That they complain about your absence without understanding WHY you are absent.

I am working with multiple clients right now who are dealing with different aspects of this.

One has been incredibly financially successful, yet realized in a quiet moment that what he most wanted was a close relationship with his wife.

Everything he has built from the outside looks like success. Yet he is still afraid to be vulnerable, to show any signs of weakness, of humanity, even with his wife.

The work of the business, which he is quite good at, is taking him away from what he most wanted, not helping him move toward it.

Because there is no dollar amount that can give him what he most wants—the sense that he is worthy of love, even from himself.

Freedom Can Only Be An Inner Game

Seeing these strategies—both how they have worked for us on the outside and what they have taken away from us on the inside—is the first step to true freedom.

Seeing the thought-created reality that you have been living in. Seeing that the stories you have created to protect yourself in that reality are no longer serving you. Seeing that you have the power to create something new—not on top of your old reality, but in place of it.

Seeing that freedom is a state of being, not something that you will ever create outside of you.

Having a partner or a coach who will keep pointing you back to you to this inner freedom is critical, because like any habit, it usually takes some effort to change it.

How to Start

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity (thought) that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

If a building a sustainable coaching business that will replace your corporate income is calling you, here’s a video where I share the the top three mistakes I see coaches make when trying to build a sustainable business—

http://bit.ly/creatingextraordinarycoaches

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post by hitting the bell on my profile.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.

And when you’re ready to go even deeper, send me a private message or an email. I’m happy to help you in any way I can.

Filed Under: Founders, Uncategorized Tagged With: executive coach

August 31, 2023 by Jeff

The Most Powerful Creation I’ve Ever Heard

executive coaching, self creation
The Most Powerful Creation I’ve Ever Heard

We humans are creators. Nonstop. 24/7.

The most creative thing I ever hear someone say is this—

“I’m not creative.”

Really? REALLY?

You’ve taken this thought, “I am not creative,” and built your whole identity around it.

And then you have lived in that created identity as if it was solid, as if it was TRUE.

For how long?

“I could never do that.”

Really. REALLY?

I did this for years until I saw it.

We believe our words describe the external world, but just as often they create our internal world every moment we say or think them.

Any sentence that begins with a noun and ends with an adjective creates.

I am ____.

You are ____.

People are ____.

Money is ____.

All creations.

You BELIEVE they are statements of fact and that is why their creative aspect is invisible to you.

You are constantly creating your world, even if—especially if—you create yourself as “not” creative.

See this, and your whole experience of life will change.

See this, and you can create whatever life you want.

Are you ready to begin?

How to Start

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity (thought) that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

If a building a sustainable coaching business that will replace your corporate income is calling you, here’s a video where I share the the top three mistakes I see coaches make when trying to build a sustainable business—

http://bit.ly/creatingextraordinarycoaches

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post here.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.

And when you’re ready to go even deeper, send me a private message or an email. I’m happy to help you in any way I can.

#insight #leapoffaith #innatewisdom #founder #founders #executivecoach

Filed Under: Founders Tagged With: business owner, ceo, founder

August 23, 2023 by Jeff

The Instantaneous Shift That Will Create Your Dream Company

executive coach, business owner
The Instantaneous Shift That Will Create Your Dream Company

“This isn’t working. How much longer are you going to try?”

When I was building my coaching business, there came a point where I was standing in my living room in Carbondale, CO, which has a view of Mt. Sopris, the mountain that in many ways had called my wife and me to give up our lives in Washington DC and move across the country. The view was was a reminder that I had created my dream life. I had it all, except for one thing.

Income. Two years into my business, I had made a combined total of about 10 percent of what I had made in my old corporate job. And my wife was now asking me the question I kept asking myself every night as I tried to sleep.

How much longer? And, more importantly, what needed to change if this was going to work?

One of the things that fascinates me about creating in the world is that most of the time, when there is a dramatic increase in our capacity to create, it is almost always accompanied by a fundamental change in how we SEE the world and, simultaneously, how we BE in it.

Before I tell you about what shifted for me, I want to tell you about four modes of operating that I point to in my coaching. Each has an associated view of how the world works. I work with a lot of founders and entrepreneurs and when they see this, it enables them to create much more quickly (and dramatically) than they otherwise could.

These modes distinguish between how the world looks to us and how the world actually occurs as a process inside us. If that seems a bit esoteric, I hope that it will become much more clear as you read on.

Executing Mode—The World and You are Fixed

I am going to guess that at least 90 percent of humans operate in this mode most, if not all the time. Often it’s because the other modes do not even appear as possibilities.

In executing mode, you buy into an illusion—that the world your experience is solid and fixed and outside of you. That time is solid and fixed and outside of you. Because of both of these things, the only way to get more done in the world is to build your skillset, your efficiency, and your productivity. In other words, you can add

I often get approached my leaders who assume that what they need from a coach are things like better time management or better communication skills. While both of these things can help, they are very much from the Executing Mode and very limited in terms of what they can accomplish.

Declaring Mode—You Can (Slowly) Change

I also call this the Affirming mode, based on affirmations, the idea that we can improve ourselves by saying things about ourselves over and over again.

The idea that the self is changeable is the fundamental change here. To see that our very selves, which appear so solid most of the time, are changeable opens us to much more change than when we assume we are working with a fixed and solid set of qualities.

We can declare ourselves to be more loving, more open, more focused, more determined, and, to some extent, we will actually become these things. Just the reminder that this is a possibility seems to shift something in us.

But when we look at this closely, it is also limited.

Because it assumes that building your identity is like building your body. You body is solid and responds to physical laws that prevent it from changing rapidly.

But your identity has no such limitations. And neither does the world that you experience.

Realizing Mode—The World and You are Made of Thought

The next perspective is the one that frees up everything dramatically. And as Morpheus says to Neo, “I can show you the door, but you’re the one who has to walk through it.”

This is where a bit of cutting edge science is helpful.

While each of us has an experience of a world that looks solid, science tells us that there is no such world.

Instead, the world, before we see it, exists only as a grayish cloud of possiblities. Of quantum potential.

Does this surprise you?

When you look at the world, it coalesces into something that looks solid. But your model of reality exists only in your mind. And my model exists only in my mind. These models are based somewhat on inputs from your sense organs (which take in only a tiny portion of all the energy out there) but mostly, each model of the world is based on the beliefs that the person has about the world, the vast majority of which are unconscious.

In other words, most of the time, the world is what you expect it will be.

No one can ever experience the world directly. Only their particular model of it, consisting of their thoughts about themselves, the world, and everything in it. Because thoughts constantly change, the world we experience is constantly changing, too.

There is something about seeing this that dramatically changes our experience of the world. We simply take it much less seriously.

Even when you are struggling, you know that if you just give yourself some time that feeling will change. In fact, difficult feelings can become a guide for you—not that you need to change anything, but simply that you’re not thinking very clearly right now.

This perspective can be incredibly helpful in managing the ups and downs of building a business.

But there is one more perspective that is even more powerful.

Transforming Mode—You Are Creating Yourself and The World in Every Moment

Human beings are creators.

Yet most of the time it is completely invisible to us.

When I see that I am only ever experiencing the world as my own thoughts, that provides a gateway into a vital inquiry—

What are my thoughts?

What are the assumptions that I make about myself and the world?

Most of these are unconscious. But we can begin to notice them simply based on how we behave. Do we have trouble trusting people or do we connect easily? Do we avoid risk because we assume we are going to fail? Do we embrace challenge because we somehow just know we can succeed?

What do we WANT to believe about ourselves and the world?

This might at first seem like the Declaring Mode, but it feels completely different. Declaring Mode is exhausting because the self you are trying to change seems solid—you may find yourself saying an affirmation thousands of times with very little to show for it. And you are generally wanting to change because you think there is something wrong with you, that you are not enough.

Here, you KNOW that the thing you have called self is just a bunch of thoughts that are constantly in flux. You see any perceived limits (“I could never do that”) as the ephemeral passing thoughts that they are. Because of this, you see that you can create yourself consciously rather than be at the effect of all the things you have believed to this point. Finally, you see that you are the creator, creating not from lack, not from a need to prove anything, but for the sheer joy of the creating itself.

Whether you see it or not, this is what is happening to us in every moment—

There are inputs such as light and sound and smell.

I take these inputs and try to fit them into the model and story I have already built about the world and how I think the world is.

I miss the fact that you are doing it.

You are doing this, too. And the more you catch yourself doing it, the more you will be able to create exactly what you want.

What Is A Company?

Or more specifically, what is a company made of?

You might say that a company is made of people, of buildings, of products, of intellectual capital. And in some sense, you are right.

But before all that, a company is made of thought. You create a company first through your thoughts. A coaching company can be one hundred percent thought-created.

So if you want to create your dream company (and dreams are thoughts, right?), it makes sense to understand, as deeply as you can, the role of thought in creating your experience of reality.

The role of thought in creating your experience of yourself.

This can go much more quickly if you have someone in your life whose sole role is to point you, again and again, to what you are creating as real in your thoughts, and what is actually possible to create instead.

This is what I do.

Whether it is helping new entrepreneurs, including coaches, or founders who are now scaling and even selling their businesses, understanding thought is the most powerful way to create more quickly in the world.

You can change your thoughts, and therefore your world, in an instant.

In fact, you already do. One hundred percent of the time.

What Shifted For Me

After I had that difficult conversation with my wife, something shifted.

First, I realized that I was one hundred percent committed to making it work.

Second, I realized that I was selling coaching not what coaching could do. It was exhausting. Most people saw only a tiny fraction of what was possible through coaching.

I was exhausting myself on people who had no interest in my coaching, and more fundamentally, who I did not want to coach. I was just going through the motions because I thought getting lots of conversations was what you were supposed to do.

At that point I had had hundreds if not thousands of coaching conversations. I had become much more clear on who I wanted to help, and more critically, exactly how I could help them. How to talk about the inner work that would enable them to get the outer goals they sought.

I started focusing on helping them see extraordinary possibilities and excluding everyone else.

Every business owner is tempted to go wide instead of deep. To think they can help everyone and then trying to convince everyone they can help. But it’s a trap. It’s needy and overwhelming.

You will grow your business MUCH faster if you focus on the people who already see they need your help. On the people that you already KNOW you CAN help.

You will grow your business MUCH faster if you sell solutions rather than processes.

Doing the work to hone both the people you work with and the result you get will dramatically speed up your progress.

Are you ready to begin?

How to Start

If you are a founder wanting to scale and sell your company, there are three shifts in identity (thought) that can help you do so with twice the impact and half the stress. Take a look at this video.

If a building a sustainable coaching business that will replace your corporate income is calling you, here’s a video where I share the the top three mistakes I see coaches make when trying to build a sustainable business—

http://bit.ly/creatingextraordinarycoaches

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

You can follow me on LinkedIn to make sure you never miss a post here.

If you want to subscribe to this Creating Extraordinary Futures newsletter, you can do so here.

And when you’re ready to go even deeper, send me a private message or an email. I’m happy to help you any way I can.

#insight #leapoffaith #innatewisdom #founder #founders #executivecoach

Filed Under: Founders Tagged With: executive coaches

August 16, 2023 by Jeff

Managing My Own Obsessive Nature (While Becoming The Best Coach I Can)

executive coaches
Managing My Own Obsessive Nature

It hit me this morning as I was listening to the recent Fresh Air podcast interview with Christopher Nolan talking about his new movie, Oppenheimer.

I am obsessive.

Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I’m a big Christopher Nolan fan.

And one thing I have noticed is how often people use the word “obsessed” when they talk about him.

Obsessed about his audience’s experience of his films. Obsessed about using the best tools to create that experience (even inventing new tools in the process). Obsessed about writing. Obsessed about time.

Admitting I Have A Problem…

I’ve noticed (and resisted as my wife continually pointed it out to me) that I have those same qualities. And that I gravitate toward the greats in many fields. Movies. Sports. Standup comedy. Even sales and storytelling.

Those who have, to paraphrase Tim Ferriss, deconstructed excellence. Who have obsessed about it to the level of replicating every detail. Even while recognizing the things that simply cannot be replicated.

I’ve been a coach for many years, and a full time professional coach for the last seven. I am coming to understand that my own obsessions about the nature and malleability of our human experience, and the process of sharing my learnings, have led me deeper and deeper into the possibilities of coaching as a catalyst for human change.

My obsessions have not only made me a better coach, they have made me better at building a coaching business.

Others have asked me how I have been able to build a one-on-one coaching business that replaced my corporate income, with only a few clients.

How I was able to enroll clients for a year of conversation at fees that exceed the cost of most automobiles.

I have taken the last year deconstructing how I do that, so that I can do it more effectively. And my obsession has had an unexpected side effect.

Obsessing About Teaching My Obsessions

I now understand my thinking and my methods well enough to teach them to other coaches.

What was implicit has become explicit.

The Art of Coaching

There is an art to coaching.

When I am fully present, I not only know what to say next, but it simply pops into my head. And that presence someone creates a space for my client to have new insights as well.

Together, we literally create things that have not seemed possible before.

My capacity to be present has been the strongest driver of my coaching success. That capacity was built over thirty years of personal development work. Meditation. Retreats. Studying with teachers. Every successful coach I know has done a lot of this kind of work.

But there is another part to this that is more predictable. More explainable. More teachable.

The Science of Coaching

There is also a science to coaching. A “how to.” A process that can be replicated.

What is the best way to build a coaching business?

What is the best way to reach out to someone?

What is the best way to get a conversation?

What is the best way to, within the context of that conversation, introduce them to the idea of and experience of coaching?

What is the best way to enroll them in a coaching journey, one that could take a year or longer, and could change their lives and everyone around them?

These are the questions I obsess about. The questions that increase my capacity to connect with the people I most want to connect with.

And the answers to these questions are what I can now teach.

Do you have a particular question? A particular type of coaching business you would like to build?

Chances are, I have spent a great deal of time obsessing over that very thing.

It’s just what I do.

Discovering WHAT people need to do, and then helping them practice HOW to do it.

Like learning a martial art or a musical instrument, for example, you have to be willing to do the same things, over and over, to learn and practice the skills that you need.

Having a group of people around you who are committed to the same thing is incredibly helpful. Had I had a similar group I think it could have saved me years.

I am creating a Group Apprentice Program to teach everything I have learned.

If you want to learn more, here’s how to start.

How to Start

If a building a sustainable coaching business that will replace your corporate income is calling you, here’s a video where I share the the top three mistakes I see coaches make when trying to build a sustainable business—

http://bit.ly/creatingextraordinarycoaches

You will also get a link to my calendar to ask the question YOU have been obsessing about.

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here—

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4FuzFAukDC_3nEGQB6AYbQ?sub_confirmation=1

You can follow me on LinkedIn and never miss a post: www.linkedin.com/comm/mynetwork/discovery-see-all?usecase=PEOPLE_FOLLOWS&followMember=jeffmunn

If you’re not already subscribed to my newsletters, you can do so here:

https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/creating-monthly-6930267414546821120

And when you’re ready to go even deeper, send me a private message or an email. I’m happy to help you any way I can.

hashtag#leapoffaith hashtag#coach hashtag#founder hashtag#founders

Filed Under: Coaches Tagged With: advice, coaches, coaching

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Jeff Munn



(970) 922-9272
jeff@jmunn.com


Carbondale, CO

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Email: jeff@jmunn.com
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