The only way that any of us can experience the world is through the model that our brain makes of the world. We build the model and live within it. Yet we ACT as though the world is solid and “out there,” happening TO us.

This is the basis of all the work that I do. The starting point. The foundational principle. And if and when you see this, you really GET this, your life will change.

When the Game is Up

Some spiritual teachers have called this “The Cosmic Joke.” We spend our whole lives trying to change our circumstances, to change the people around us, to change our bodies or appearances or bank accounts.

All in an effort to feel better about ourselves. To feel stronger or more loved or more powerful.

When actually, we are the ones creating everything. Even if this process is all but invisible to us.

I got my first glimpse of this in 2007 when I was sitting in meditation. It suddenly occurred to me, like a little thought bubble popping over my head, that this present moment is all that ever is. That everything else, the past, the future, my stories about both of those and my stories about myself and the world, I was making up in this present moment.

I laughed.

And I went back to living in the reality that I was creating. Just a little bit wiser for the experience.

But every few years since I have had another thought bubble pop. More and more I am able to witness myself creating the world that I live in.

The Irrefutable Truth of How Our Brains Work

Your experience (and mine) is comprised of three things—

Sensory data—whatever your brains tell you about the things you see, hear, smell, taste, touch.

Your physiological state—calm or triggered, to name two of many possibilities.

The STORIES you tell yourself about what inputs mean.

Your brain is building a model of the world in real time and living in that model. And the vast majority of us think that model is not only real, but the one right and solid reality.

Over the next few weeks I am going to explore some of the implications of this fundamental truth.

But if you know you are up for a deeper exploration of this (in a way that will change your leadership and your life), I have two ways you can do that—

First as a two day one-on-one retreat.

Second as a group event in Denver on October 20-21.

If either of these appeal to you, like this post (so more people will see it) and send me a DM.

“I’m Winston Wolf. I solve problems.” — Pulp Fiction

I had a conversation recently with a founder I’ve been coaching for a while. Nothing dramatic happened—no big exit, no new venture just launched.

But something was different.

He Was Showing Up Differently

He sounded lighter. More clear. He was describing conversations he used to dread that now felt easy. He was building relationships, asking great questions, and genuinely enjoying it. Not performing—participating.

He told me about:

• Hosting a major industry event and enjoying being recognized for leadership

• Connecting deeply with people at a wellness startup launch

• Taking in two hours of a live Eckhart Tolle presentation with no notes, no urgency to “get everything down”

• Exploring franchise opportunities—not to escape his day job, but out of real curiosity

• Giving up alcohol, not with fanfare, but because it just made sense

• Reworking his schedule to include tennis, yoga, strength training—and sleeping better than ever

Leading by Letting Go

He also told me he’s ready to step away from the business he sold to private equity—his “day job,” as he called it—with clarity, not bitterness. He’s actively developing his team, handing them more responsibility, and watching them thrive without him in the room.

None of this came from trying harder. It came from letting go of the pressure. The pressure to prove, to perform, to control every outcome, to find and solve every problem.

And when that pressure dropped? Possibility showed up.

He’s not “on fire.” He’s not “crushing it.” He’s not selling someone on his 7-step plan.

He’s just building a life that actually fits him now—and noticing what’s worth leaning into.

A Subtle but Life-Changing Shift

Sometimes the shift we need isn’t tactical. It’s internal. It’s not about having a plan. It’s about having space.

This shift doesn’t just happen to founders. It can happen to anyone.

When you are looking for problems, you find them.

When you are looking for possibilities, you find them, too.

If that’s a shift you’d like to explore, there are two ways to spend two days getting exposed to viewing from possibility.

First, as a one-on-one retreat. Second, as a group event in Denver October 20-21.

If either of those possibilities appeal to you, like this post so more people can see it, and send me a DM.

“I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.” — Mark Twain

“Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful.” —Warren Buffet

Recent events have convinced many people that we are headed for a recession or worse. That it is time to hunker down and play it safe.

Yet time and time again, the worst economic times have led to the biggest opportunities.

It’s Not About What You See—It’s About Where You Are Looking From

I confess I have no idea, yet, what the big opportunities are in this time of incredible uncertainty.

But here’s what I do know. They are a lot easier to see if you are looking for them.

If you are convinced that doomsday is coming, then by all means build a bunker. Stop living life. But keep in mind that both Uber and AirBNB came out of the financial crisis of 2009. And there are startups from COVID times that continue to thrive. I know for me, it was during COVID that my access to and focus on founders became much more clear than it had before, and I have never looked back.

I now look at COVID as a turning point for my business.

Time and time again there have been turning points when things looked most difficult.

Will this be a turning point for you?

If This Was the Biggest Opportunity You Had Ever Seen, What Would You Do?

Because here’s the secret. Every market creates winners, and down markets create some of the biggest.

In every conversation I’ve had with a founder in the past few weeks, they have come away convinced that their biggest problem is not a coming recession, but taking advantage of all the opportunity that both exists and is coming.

Would you like to see that, too?

Reach out and let’s talk.

Remember, you don’t have to know right now. You just have to know that you can see it if you look for it.

Every leader I work with has a routine (conscious or unconscious), and the results that they get are directly related to the habits that they have established.

I want to share a few things that have worked for me, with the hopes that if you make even one change in your existing routine, it can have a massive impact on your results.

It All Starts with Your Physiology

If you are running around in a panic, you are not going to create good results.

So the question I like to start with is—who do you want to be?

When they get past the goals, financial, business, and otherwise, most people I talk to say things like—

— I want to be a person who sets and achieves goals with ease.

— I want to be more calm and present.

— I want to make better decisions.

— I want to have better relationships.

— I want to be more creative and engaged in the work that I am doing.

— I want to live a life of minimal regret.

All of these start with your physiology.

You can’t do any of these when you are consistently in fight or flight. So having a routine that minimizes the time you are in that state will pay exponential benefits.

It Must be Doable

I work with a lot of overachieving leaders. And when the topic of a morning routine or habits comes up, they often try to design the perfect routine—I’m going to meditate an hour a day, I’m going to do yoga, go to the gym, train for an ultra, etc., etc.

And like the New Year’s resolution that lasts two weeks, this approach fails over and over.

Start Small and Build

I once asked a leader to set aside one minute a day to breathe deeply. Because we had done that in a session and he had felt the impact in just that one minute.

If you get success with small things, it will reinforce itself and you will take on more. A virtuous cycle that will pay increasing dividends over time.

A Sustainable Routine that Works for Me

Here are the things that I have been able to implement and sustain over time. And a couple things that I am trying to get better at incorporating.

Meditation

I used to meditate an hour a day. For years. But it stopped working for my schedule once I started my own business. I went months without meditating at all and I noticed my reactivity was increasing in its absence.

In the past few months I started a new habit. After I make my coffee, I meditate for five minutes. That’s it. And my focus is on belly breathing, the 4×4 exercise (four seconds inhale into the belly, exhaling out my stress and thoughts, repeated four or more times) that I recently wrote about. It clears my head for whatever is coming in my day.

Journaling

After I meditate, I pull out my notebook and write for three pages, an exercise called “Artist’s Pages” first written about by Julia Cameron. But I ask specific questions—What is being called to be created by me today? What is it that my higher self wants me to know about myself today? Who do I want to create myself as today?

Once the ink starts flowing (I highly recommend that you physically write rather than keyboard), something opens up and I almost always see something about myself or the world that I did not see before. And that reinforces my understanding that each of us is literally creating ourselves fresh and new in each and every moment. There are limitless possibilities, if only we get in the habit if seeing them!

Exercise

My wife routinely goes on ten mile hikes. I confess I am much more utilitarian in my exercise, focusing on what is the minimum dose of what I need to feel the way I want to feel.

For me, that means resistance training and aerobic training. I am trying to incorporate more work around flexibility, such as through yoga, as well, but it is not as established as I would like it to be.

For resistance training, it means a simple weight working on machines and with dumbbells, exercises done to failure. I often incorporate what are called “drop sets,” which means you do a set to failure, drop the weight significantly, then do another few reps to failure again. it is intense but it works. I feel great after a workout. I can get though my weight workout in about 20 minutes and I do it twice a week.

For aerobic training it depends on time of year. I try to have it be outside—a run with the dog for 30 minutes to an hour, or cross country skiing, or carrying a weighted backpack uphill. I try to do sprints or short intervals (100, 200, or 400 meters) once a week or so for variety. Sometimes I end up doing those intervals in a treadmill but it is not my preferred approach. I do two aerobic workouts a week.

Time Outside

There is lot of research pointing to the fact that time outside helps us with both stress and creativity.

I walk outside with the dog two or three times a week for about an hour (I share dog duty with my wife—the dog gets out every day!). It can be difficult to get out sometimes, especially in the middle of the day, but I’ve found it’s a good time to listen a podcast or make phone calls, so it can serve double duty if needed. I also find that a hour walk while doing absolutely nothing else can be incredibly energizing and head clearing when I feel like there is just too much going on.

Having A Hobby

My newest addition to this routine is playing the saxophone. I first picked up a saxophone on April 6, 2023 (I sang growing up but have never played an instrument) and it has become the part of the day that I consistently look forward to the most. What I love most about it is the fact that I have to be present to have any chance of doing it well. If I have anything else on my mind, the horn lets me know, immediately.

Building YOUR Routine

Those are the elements of my current routine, and they have been cultivated over a period of years. They also change from time to time based on what else is going on in my life.

But every ingredient brings me some combination of joy and building my capacity to be calm and present with whatever else is going on in your life.

What are the elements of your routine? I’d love to hear what works best for you.